Before the month of February gets started every year, I see boxes of heart-shaped candies, ads for low-cost roses and cards depicting Cupid everywhere. I get ads in my inbox and see them online, too. In spite of this onslaught of advertising, I am thoroughly convinced that the world that doesn’t know Jesus doesn’t know what love is either. It saddens me that many people settle for a cheap substitution and never consider the real sacrifices that true love requires.

This Scripture verse goes along with what our pastor told us almost five decades ago when my husband and I were going through pre-marital counseling. He said, “Love is always choosing the highest good for the other person regardless of what sacrifice you have to make to do that.” His pronouncement has stayed with me through the years and has meant that in spite of our many difficulties and differences, Harry and I have stayed together for almost fifty years. We have learned to see things through each other’s eyes and make a concerted effort to make choices that will be for the good of our life partner. In today’s world, marriage has become a trial and error situation. If it doesn’t work out, you can always get a divorce and move on. That is not the way we approached our commitment to each other. We saw it as a covenant before God and have spent many hours praying about situations beyond our control that tested our relationship with one another. Regardless, we did not see marriage as a “if it doesn’t work out” proposition but rather as a promise before God to love each other in the way that our pastor described, choosing the highest good of the other person.

I don’t like all of the hearts, flowers and candy that attempt to romanticize a commitment that is taken seriously by God. Sure, they are nice surface things but the flowers die, the candy gets eaten, the card gets misplaced and the love that you felt for that one day or that one month fades quickly into the daily battles of everyday life. I prefer to think of love as a lifetime commitment, not a month of hearts and flowers, no matter how pleasant the latter may seem. I want the love that lasts through the mountains and the valleys, the one that says, “In spite of everything, I choose you.” My husband and I spent many years separated due to his military deployments, but not once did I doubt his love for me. His calls, letters and the cassette tapes he sent just so I could hear his voice when I was lonely showed his desire to fulfill his commitment to me and our children. So, a month of love is not for me. I prefer the kind that lasts forever, the kind that brings candy home “just because” or the kind that plants flowers outside of my window for me to enjoy for the entire season. Yes, the temporary things are nice, but the ones that are deeply rooted in God as the foundation withstand the storms of time, life and trials that we all undergo. It’s good to have someone to go through life with. Life is hard…it takes a lifetime of love to make it. Jesus set the example with His sacrifice and showed us the way to truly love.

May you each find the love that God has for you and the love that is meant to fulfill you in this life. Have a happy life filled with love!