These verses were in my devotional this morning and they are so appropriate that I just have to share my testimony about what happened at the retina institute yesterday. As I wrote previously, my ophthalmologist had diagnosed me with dry macular degeneration. My sister has the wet kind which leads to blindness and insisted that I go to see a retina specialist since mine is just starting. So, I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and three months later (yesterday) I got an appointment at the Retina Institute of Virginia. I had to be there alone because of restrictions about patients only, so I was really nervous. Where was my faith? It was still there, but the real me was anxious to find out what was going on with my eyes and what the solution would be, if any.

The first nurse was very nice, jovial and encouraging and explaining all the drops that she had to use in my eyes and how the ocular thing worked with pinholes in it. Then, I sat in a dark room for about ten minutes waiting for my imaging. The next lady was quite rude and impatient, but I prayed for me and for her to get through that part of the test and eventually we did. Next step, a dark room to wait to see the doctor and get his diagnosis of my condition.

I was there long enough to start being assailed by doubts and fears. Of course, it didn’t help that my sister has told me repeatedly for the last three months that I’m going to be blind. (She is not just a cup half empty person; her cup is also cracked and leaking.) Anyway, my answer was to pray and ask God for His presence to be really near me. I cannot say that I heard an audible voice but I did hear God speak to my heart to hold my hand out and He would hold it and be with me. Honestly, I have no idea what I was thinking, but I put my hand out on my lap and the Lord spoke to me and told me He had my hand and I was not alone and all would be okay, no matter the verdict from the doctor. I prayed quietly, thanking God for His comfort and calming presence. I can’t say that I felt the Lord holding my hand, but I felt comforted and knew He was there with me.

When the doctor came in, he showed me the photos of my eyes and told me that my left eye has a trace of macular but my right eye has no signs of it at all. He finished his exam and told me that he would see me in a year, that he’s pleased with the radiograph and the photos. My response was to thank him and to thank God, of course! He had me all along, even in that dark room where I was feeling so alone and frightened, He took my hand and spoke words of encouragement to me.

Naturally, when I called my sister to tell her, her response was negative. She informed me that the disease will get worse, there’s no cure, it will go into my right eye and I will go blind, just later instead of sooner. But you know what? I didn’t argue with her or point out to her that God is taking care of the whole situation for me. I knew that in my heart, but she doesn’t know or accept God and His truths, so I wanted to just hold His love for me close to me and enjoy it rather than listen to and accept her harsh words. Shortly thereafter, my husband arrived to take me home and my trial was over. I shared with him what had happened and he was like, “That’s good. That’s really good news.” The best news is that my faith was renewed (again) because God showed me not only that He is powerful but also that He cares about the tiny details in my life. Since I needed someone with me, He was that someone for me. Always there, never intrusive, always willing to console and encourage. That’s my God! I’m ashamed that I needed to be reminded, but I wanted to share my humanity with you all. I don’t have it all together all the time, but God does and knows just what I need and how to meet those needs.

May you be blessed today with the certain knowledge that God is with you, helping you and protecting you in all circumstances.