In moving twenty plus times, my husband and I have also been to at least that many different churches. And although you may not agree with my title, I can assure you that there is no “perfect church” this side of heaven. After all, the church here on earth is made of imperfect people doing their best to strive for perfection, but our humanity keeps getting in the way.

We have been attending a local church for almost four years now and have been basically content with the teaching, the fellowship, and especially the worship. That changed a few weeks ago when I had to leave the service in tears because the bass was set too high and it was hurting my brain. Literally! I know that is hard to understand, but since my stroke, heavy bass and extremely loud noises cause me to cringe and sometimes cry out in pain. My brain seems to be almost bouncing inside my head and I just cannot cope with the pain. My neurologist said that is not abnormal for stroke survivors and suggested noise canceling headphones when I need them. I got several really good pairs of headphones but I had not had to use them for several years except for occasional birthday parties with grandchildren. I had my headphones with me in church that day, but they did not block the reverberation in my brain, so I ended up leaving the service. I came back in for the sermon and then left before the closing song since it was too hurtful, also.

My husband, ever protective of me especially since my stroke, called and spoke to the senior pastor. He suggested that we go to the “Common Room” which is usually used for overflow from the services when they get too crowded. There we would have access to closed circuit TV broadcasting the service. That has been better, but it certainly is not providing the fellowship I would like.

The problem started when we got a new worship leader and apparently his way of doing things is louder. I have asked that the audio person adjust the bass because it affects my health. The reply was that others are affected too, those with heart monitors or pacemakers. And yet the problem continues.

Yesterday was a bad attitude day for me. I didn’t want to sit in the room with just my husband. One of my friends from our small group joined us, saying that she was going to be our fellowship. Harry went into the auditorium and got our communion for us, so everything went okay. But I was still feeling excluded over a problem that I have no control over. I have prayed and prayed about what to do and the answer came this morning. I am to be quiet and to wait for God to take care of it.

Since I am a big proponent of spreading life, I know that I have to be quiet in this situation because my negativity is doing the opposite. Instead of calling the worship team a “garage band on steroids” I am choosing to call them the worship team or praise team. The fact that I cannot be in the auditorium to participate does not take away from the service that they are providing. And I am trusting God to take care of me and my needs, whether in the auditorium or a side room.

I am not sure what calamity could come from my voicing my opinion about the bass being too high, but I don’t want to find out either. I just know that I cannot be in that room because I don’t want to take a chance on having another stroke due to the irritation of the bass. So, I am guarding my mouth. Why? Because there is no perfect church and I cannot change hearts and minds by complaining since no one seems to comprehend the damage the overly loud bass does to my brain. My husband and I briefly considered looking for a new church. But we love our Sunday school class and get fellowship there and from our small group that meets each Monday evening. We have made friends there, people who check on us in bad weather and are willing to help out when we need it. Unless God specifically says to move on, we are staying put and trusting Him to take care of things there. Would I prefer to be able to be in the regular service? Of course! But rather than call the Common Room my “exile island” I am choosing now to call it my “refuge island.” Attitude makes a difference, especially when dealing with imperfect people in an imperfect world. God is taking care of me just as He always has and I am thankful for His concern and compassion.