The Long Way Home

If you think about your life and how God has been leading you, what comes to mind? For me, I have a lot of questions about why God led me to certain places instead of others. For example, we had orders to go to Japan. The children were excited, my husband was anxious to get there and start his new responsibilities, and I was resigned about moving again but looking forward to a new adventure in a foreign land. We had sold our car, packed up all of our belongings and the military movers had come and put everything into large crates to be shipped overseas. Then, the memo came from command; my husband and children could go to Japan but I was not allowed to accompany them because of my health issues. The closest hospital to our new base was too far away for them to risk sending me there. So, prayer and discussions followed, and my husband reluctantly turned down the orders. That is how we ended up in northern Maine. Let me tell you that this southern girl thought I had died and gone to hell and it was a cold and barren place.

On the way to Limestone AFB, I was driving one car with my daughter and my husband was leading us in the front car with our sons. He says jokingly that you can see the brake skid marks on the pavement all the way from the south up Interstate 95. To say that I was an unwilling participant in this little adventure is putting in mildly. The highway ended an hour from the base, so on our journey into what I considered a wilderness of trees and cemeteries (honestly, that was the view for miles and miles), we had to stop for gas. When my husband came to my car window to ask how I was doing, I remember his asking me how I was doing. He had a big smile on his face, and I burst into tears. Having passed numerous cemeteries, I sobbed,”The only reason people come here is to die!” He talked quietly to me, comforting me and letting me know that God was with us.

When we arrived at our duty location, it was the beginning of September, and it started to snow. I got the kids settled into their new schools, worked every day on unpacking boxes and making our base housing as familiar to the children as possible, with all of their favorite pictures in their rooms. As I did this, I kept looking out the window and it kept snowing. After settling in, I started looking for a teaching job. Certified in Spanish and history, I was not too hopeful that I would find a job in the one high school in Aroostook County, but when I applied, I was pleasantly surprised to find that the one Spanish teacher for the county was retiring at the end of the year, so I applied. And I ended up getting the job.

My next obstacle was driving in the snow. I am from the south, and where I came from, there is no school when it snows. An inch? No buses would run. In Maine, we had almost two hundred inches of snow the first winter I lived there. In fact, I could reach out our second story window and touch snow, not drifted snow, but snow that had freshly fallen and that’s how high it reached. The children were adjusting well, with gym classes featuring skiing and snowmobiling, and they were loving it. I, on the other hand, was terrified to drive in it. So, I prayed and asked God to help me be safe and not hurt me or anyone else. My husband’s one piece of advice was not to touch the brake. Knowing that I had signed a contract and would be teaching in the fall, I started to venture off the base and drive a little. One bright sunny day, I went to the Ames Department Store. It was about half an hour away, I didn’t see any chance of snow even though it was March, so I was confident that the roads would be plowed and safe. I had finished my errands in town and started to get into my car when the snowflakes started falling. The March snow in Maine was often a wet snow, heavy and very slick. Before I could get halfway home, the roads were covered and I was a nervous wreck. I remember heading downhill on the road and the car started to slide. I had no idea what to do, but I remembered my husband’s admonition not to touch the brake. So, I took my foot off the pedals, my hands off the steering wheel and prayed, “God, you need to take over because I have no idea what to do.” Guess what? I slid nicely to the side of the road into a snow drift and the car stopped. After I cried and thanked God, I backed up very slowly and went home very slowly praying the whole way, aware that I was a menace to others who knew what they were doing.

Was my Maine adventure a pleasant experience? Not at all! But I made good friends there with other base wives, used my crocheting skills that the wives at the Arkansas base had taught me, and I learned to lean into God. He kept providing for me in situations that seemed hopeless. One of our neighbors, a nice older lady named JoAnn, was teaching math at the same school where I taught. She offered to drive me to school every day so I didn’t have to be so stressed about winter driving. Another new friend named Joyce invited me to her house at least weekly just to get out and have coffee or tea. We even went to Canada together one weekend. (Canada was actually the closest place to shop for decent clothes for our children.)

Why am I telling you all of this? Just to let you know that I learned a lot about myself and my relationship with God from my “wilderness” experience in Maine. God did not take me immediately to the place I wanted to go (South Carolina), but I did get there eventually. Maine was a long way from home, but the four years I spent there were a school for the rest of my time as a military wife. I learned to use resources that the base provided, not to be afraid to tell people that I needed help and to always have an attitude of prayer because I never knew when the snow might start falling again.

Moses did not get to go right to the Promised Land using the shortest route possible. Instead, he went through the wilderness. And when the Israelites disobeyed and rebelled, they ended up spending forty years there, even though the journey was really only a few weeks. Paul did not go straight to Rome. Instead, he was taken prisoner, shipwrecked and finally ended up where he wanted to be all along. We have a lot of epistles penned by Paul that tell us about his experiences getting there.

My point is that we don’t know what God’s plan for us is, but He does. We don’t know why things happen the way they do, but He does. In trusting God in the wilderness, I have found that He is with me in the oases, too. He walks with me on the mountaintops and in the valleys. I’m not fond of the valley experiences, but I have learned to depend more on my Father in heaven and know that whatever I am going through will not be forever. He may be taking me the long way, but I can trust that He is always leading me in the right direction, home to Him.

Listening

Yesterday was my every six month visit with my primary care physician. One of the things that I do when I go to the doctor is tell him how I have been physically for the previous six months. Achy bones, visits to the ER, consultations with specialists, lab tests and results and blood pressure are all topics that I tell him about. Wonder what he would do if, after telling him all I had to say, I picked up my purse and walked out of the exam room? I think he would be concerned about my sanity for one, and he would probably insist that I sit back down and listen to what he has to say.

Sometimes, I think I go before God and tell Him my list of complaints, maladies and wish list, and then, before He can say a word to me, I get busy doing something else. Not very respectful, is it? God wants us to learn to listen to Him just as we listen to our doctors and others that we trust to take care of our physical body. God is taking care of our body, soul and spirit, so the least we can do is take the time to hear what He has to say.

God speaks to us in His Word, but we have to apply it to ourselves personally and ask the Lord to help us make His Word and its truth a daily part of our lives. We cannot know God’s teaching and commands if we don’t habitually and faithfully read and study His Word.

If I went into the doctor’s office, told him my problems and then told him that I knew just what he needed to do to make me better, I don’t think it would turn out well for me. One of us in that office has a degree in medicine and I’m not the one. It’s the same with trusting God. He is the only One who knows everything, sees everything and can point me in the right direction. I go to God in prayer daily, and I am training myself to be still after I pray and to just listen. God will speak to my heart if I will be quiet and let Him know that I am willing to hear what He has to say.

Taking up my cross daily means a daily denial of “me first” and consciously making decisions that put Jesus first. Sometimes, it means that I don’t get the things done on my “to do” list because Jesus points out to me the needs of others and that takes precedence. Jesus is first, others are next. I am last in my own list of priorities. It sounds like it’s backwards. But if you think about being on an airplane when the oxygen masks descend, you are always told to take care of the child next to you first (or the elderly person) and then put on your own mask. Others first…they yourself. I think I have shared it before, but there is an acronym for the way we are to make choices in life: JOY= Jesus first, Others second, and yourself last. That’s where you can find the joy in serving that God means for each of us to have and the denial of self in our choices.

I had a milestone anniversary this week! On Thursday, January 23rd, I celebrated ten years of being a stroke survivor! Praise God that He has kept me, is keeping me and will keep me…until He calls me home!

“How Long, O Lord…?”

Sometimes God answers our prayers right away, but I have found that most times, I am waiting for an answer and feeling a lot like David in Psalm 13 when he asked God this question. He didn’t expect a reply from God. Instead, he kept on being faithful. I think David knew that the answer would come in God’s time.

Sometimes it does feel as though God has turned away from us, but He never does. He is watching us all the time while we deliberate how we will respond to his delay. He is looking for people who will be faithful.

We have to keep trusting and in that trust, we need to rejoice. We are not rejoicing because all of our prayers are answered right away. I have said it before, and I repeat it here again. God is not a magic genie who instantly grants our requests. He has a reason for all He does and He has a plan for us. We rejoice because we know ultimately we have salvation and will live with Him for eternity. I keep reminding myself that this life is temporary. The aches, pains, heartaches and trials will all pass. God and salvation are forever!

While we wait for an answer, a good use of our time would be to praise God and remind ourselves of all that He has already done for us. God has been good to me! My life is a living testimony of His goodness, grace and mercy, and for that I can sing even as I wait. So, how long? As long as it takes. Because when the answer comes, I can rest fully assured that it will be the right answer at the right time and for the right reasons.

Harmful Intent

If you are Biblically literate, then I am sure you know the story of Joseph and how he ended up as a slave in Egypt after his jealous brothers sold him. The finality of the story is Joseph forgiving them and saying this to them:

I did not make a mistake. I put Joseph’s words with a cross background because Jesus could have said the same thing and it would have been true. The people who crucified Him (all of us, because we would have most likely been in that mob and because we are ALL sinners), meant Him harm. Harm being a euphemism for death. They wanted to kill him and get Him off the earth and out of the way of their plans to keep on sinning.

But God and Jesus had other plans. When He was resurrected, He showed everyone that they had actually helped God carry out His plan of redemption through their evil obsession with killing Him.

How many times have others offended me or harmed me? How many times has God turned it around for me for good? Too many times to count, but I am sorry to say that, unlike Jesus and Joseph, I did not recognize what they did as something that God could use for my good. Today’s devotional opened my eyes to a new perspective about people who are against me. What do you think? Is this true for you, too? No matter what, God’s plans will not be thwarted. He works for our good and continues to work out His purpose for our lives.

Happy Inauguration Day!

My prayer is for the healing of our nation as we turn back to God. We need to look forward and not back, forgiving as the Lord forgave, and pray for our new leaders. The new President may not be the one you wanted in office, but he is the one that God allowed to be there, so the commandment is to pray for those who lead us. It doesn’t say to pray for those you like and agree with…pray for the leaders.

I spent the last four years praying for President Biden even though he was not my choice. I believe God had a purpose in allowing him to be in office. And since I don’t have God’s mind, I cannot tell you what that was. But I prayed, sometimes begrudgingly and sometimes half-heartedly, but I prayed.

Today is a new day and a new administration. I hope that you will join me in praying for President Trump and his family, for Vice President Vance and his family. May all they do be for the good of the nation and the people that God loves.

Omnipresent God

God’s attribute of omnipresence means that there is no where I am that He is not already there. I can’t run from God, hide from Him are escape Him. I don’t recall ever really wanting to be away from God, but I do recall times when I thought He was far away and not listening to my pleas for help or safety. But that is a lie from Satan, the one who does not have the powers of God and envies God, so much so that he tries to get us to believe lies in order to turn us away from God.

With grandchildren getting ready to graduate from college and high school this year, I am looking at the world and thinking what a scary time it is for them to live. But God has assured me and continues to let me know that He is watching out for them and He is there, right where they are. He was with Tyler on his trip to Europe, even while protests were happening in Germany. He was with Isaac when he had to have cancer tests again, the kind that make him nauseous. God is there because He chooses to be right there with us. He created us and loves us enough that He won’t step away and leave us on our own.

It has taken me a long time to come to the realization that God does not just take off when the going gets tough. He is right there, walking alongside me in the hard times as well as in the times of rejoicing. He comforts me so that I can comfort others.

As a finite being who can occupy one space at a time, it is hard for me to comprehend that the God of the Universe can see all of His creation and be present with every one of us all the time. That is part of the mystery that is God and knowing that He is God allows me to accept and just know in my heart that He is there, all the time.

His Eye Is On the Sparrow-Her Heart Sings

Finding Hope

Hope is everywhere we look, but many of us are looking in the wrong place and to the wrong person for hope. For me, hope is found in the sparkling eyes of our grandchildren. They are hope for a bright and promising future. Hope is found in the rose bush that is currently dormant. It will bloom again in the spring, but right now it’s just waiting for its time. Hope is in the cardinals that hop around outside my window. They trust in their Creator to provide for them, and sometimes we help out by putting out bird seed for them. Hope…it’s in the trusting and waiting that hope is really found.

God is the God of hope. As we trust in Him, then we can have hope and the bonus of joy and peace. Thursday was a hard day for us here at the Watts household. We were awakened before six with the carbon monoxide detector beeping because the electricity had gone off. We waited quietly in bed for a few minutes, hoping it would flash back on, but since it didn’t, I got up and called Dominion Virginia Power. I went through a bunch of automated hoops and was ultimately told that I was the first one to report an outage and there was no estimated time of restoration. Knowing it was in the low teens outside, I fed our cat and went back to our warm bed. About nine, I got up again to a much colder house (it was about 58 degrees at that time, according to our thermometer on the wall of our bedroom), so I got my phone and checked the outage map. No info there, so I called Dominion again. This time, there was a technical issue, so I got to talk to a live person. She was very considerate and kind and said she did not know an estimated time of restoration but there were others out in our area. A few hours later, I checked the outage map again, found out that in our rural area, there were 160 people without electricity and the technicians were out trying to find the problem. The estimated time of restoration was by one o’clock. So, I bundled up and sat in my chair to take my blood pressure so I could take my morning meds. That done, I took my bundled self back to bed, with the temperature in the mid 50’s in the house now. I fell asleep for about an hour, got up and checked the outage map again. It had changed slightly. Now, only 111 were without power, so some had their problem fixed, just not us. I contacted the people in our small group from church and asked for prayer. Harry had surgery on Wednesday and was not feeling well enough to venture out to someplace warmer. So, we stayed in and bundled up as much as possible. One friend from church offered to let us come stay with her, which was very kind and offered hope (just in case Dominion couldn’t get the power back on that day). I was sitting in my chair with four layers on (blankets and jackets plus clothes and winter underwear) when I suddenly saw our digital frames come on. Then, I heard the heater start. Praise God! Our electricity came back on at almost exactly one p.m. Wonder how Dominion did that? So, I waited until the house got over 60 degrees and started to shed layers. I turned the breaker back on for the water heater. (Did you know that when the electricity goes off you are supposed to turn off the breaker for the water heater so the element doesn’t burn up? A good plumber friend told us that long ago when we first moved into our countryside dwelling.) Anyway, by 3 p.m., the house was warm, the hot water was restored, the electronic gadgets had been reset and I was finally able to do my online devotional. The plan is always to do my devotionals first thing in the morning before I get distracted or busy, but Thursday was a crazy day. Taking care of Harry, electrical issues, electronics issues and the cat kept me busy for a while. So, what does all of this have to do with hope? I HOPED that the power company would get the electricity back on soon and be safe as they worked. In fact, I prayed for the safety of the linemen that were out in the very cold weather trying to help me and 159 other families. I had HOPE that if our electricity did not return before dark, we could go to Bonnie’s house, about fifteen minutes away, and have warmth and light. Through it all, I had HOPE that God was with us and would keep us safe. And He did! We were not particularly comfortable in our many layers, but we were safe and warm enough that we could fall asleep in the middle of the crisis. I have to confess that I was not feeling especially joyful, but I didn’t feel frantic or out-of-sorts which is my usual go-to mood when things don’t go as planned. Instead, I felt peace, knowing that God was in control, of the weather, the electricity, the linemen and us as well as all the others in the same powerless condition as us.

Once the power came back on and I was doing my devotional, a truth struck me. We are all powerless without God, unable to function as we should and to carry on with our daily life because we aren’t plugged into our power source. He is our only source of hope in a life that has some unexpected surprises sometimes.

Outside and Inside

I don’t know about you, but I am guilty of judging people by the way they look. If a big, hulking man is coming near me, I tend to shy away and look for the nearest “safe-looking” person. You may say to yourself that’s just my natural instinct to protect myself. But what if, instead of shrinking away, I were more accepting of differences and looked at others the way God sees them.

Every person is worthy of God’s love, not because of what they have done or because of what they look like, but only because they are a special creation of God. He made each of us, even the scary looking dudes, to have a relationship with Him. If not one of us tells them about the Lord because we are afraid to talk to them, then they may never hear the gospel. Let that sink in. Our fear may hurt someone for eternity. I don’t remember one single passage in the Bible in which Jesus avoided someone because their appearance wasn’t acceptable to Him. Jesus saw their hearts and called the Pharisees a brood of vipers. But it wasn’t because of what He saw on the outside.

I want to take the time to stop, pray, ask for God’s vision for each person I encounter and follow through with sowing His seeds for them. God chose King David, a young boy hardly worth noticing, to start the royal lineage to Jesus. He saw David’s heart, not his youth or impetuousness or even how small he was compared to his brother. It’s time for me to start looking more carefully and stop judging from the outward appearances.

God’s Timing

In our finite minds, sometimes it is hard to conceive that God, who is infinite, chooses the timing that is best for us. In our world of instant gratification for just about everything, we want to hurry it all up. But we need to trust that God knows exactly what He is doing and how to do things at the right time for all of us.

God could have sent Abraham and Sarah a son when they were younger, but then what kind of miracle would that have been and how would it have grown their faith? Abraham is known as a man of faith because he believed that God would fulfill His promise in spite of the fact that he was old.

Christ came to the world at just the right time, but He also came into each of our lives at just the right time. When Christ was introduced to me, I was alone in my first apartment, lonely and really needing friendships. A neighbor became my friend and introduced me to the Savior who would be my eternal friend, especially needed as less than a year later, I became a military wife and began a series of moves to new places where I leaned in to Jesus, His guidance and His love.

When we are having a tough time, we wonder where is God and why He is not immediately rescuing us. The answer is that God can use what we go through to teach us more about Him, His character and His deep love for us. If He always intervenes right away, we don’t learn anything but to expect Him to stop the pain and then we go on our merry way. The expectation of God is that we humble ourselves before Him, wait for Him to act and appreciate whatever He does for us. It may not be the answer we expect or in the time we wanted it, but whenever God answers will be what is best for us and at the perfect time for us.

Waiting is hard, but not waiting may have consequences that we don’t really want to go through.