I am a Christian, a retired teacher, a mother and a grandmother. I love to read and I love the Lord Jesus Christ! Unless otherwise specified ,all visual illustrations are from the YOU VERSION APP of the Bible.
Lord God, I thank you for who you are and for all you have done for me all the days of my life. I bless your name for your goodness and mercy that you have showered on me abundantly. I thank you for your gifts of children, grandchildren friends and other family. These relationships have taught me so much, Lord, about your character and how you want people to be. Thank you, Lord, for being there for me when I was lonely or afraid. Thank you, Father, for being a father to me when mine was not there. I am overwhelmed by your goodness, Lord and your unimaginable and deep love for all of your creation, including me. May I ever be aware of your presence and your desire to bring everyone to you. In Jesus’s Name.
This was my devotional this morning, after a heart-wrenching day yesterday. The devotional is from the YouVersion Bible App and is entitled “Knowing God Has a Plan: 5-Day Devotional by Anne Wilson.”
When Grief Comes, Is God Still Good?
Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. Psalm 30:5
Some say grief is horror at loss…at not being able to touch them, laugh with them, or make new memories with them. Others may say it is soul-crushing…excruciating…and it makes eternity feel instantaneously close… yet so far away. For me, it is all of this on top of the what-ifs and what-could-have-beens rolled into one.
In the “Seventh of June” song, I wanted to be transparent about the process of grief…how it comes in waves and on anniversaries…how it spills out in tears. We are all in the trenches at times – “praying and trying to make sense of what don’t make sense in this life.” We are all put on notice, waiting for the impossible moment that we never want to face. But we all face loss. We are not getting off of this earth without it.
Grieving people ask themselves: Did they know how much I loved them? What should I have done differently? It can be heavy and full of despair, yet empty of adding up to make sense. How could this have happened? Why did this happen? And the ones no one likes to talk about: Is God still good? And where is God in the midst of our grief?
Jesus says in the Sermon on the Mount: Blessed are the broken-hearted for they shall be comforted…but ask a new mother holding her stillborn baby if she feels blessed. Ask anyone at the edge of a hospice bed if they feel blessed.
I have learned that the blessing is having Jesus to weep with you. To hold you. To give you supernatural peace that only He can give. At my lowest times and my darkest days, the Prince of Peace is there to encourage me and to catch my tears. I want to remind you that He is good and promises us that weeping endures for a night, but joy comes in the morning.
Here are some questions to ponder as you process your grief with the Lord:
Is God responsible for our loss?
There must be a reason we have a period on earth to experience truth, beauty, and goodness but also deception, ugliness, and evil. What could God’s purposes be?
Now, back to me and my losses. Two good friends and former colleagues passed away this week, but I just heard of their deaths yesterday on my way home from my urologist. I was rejoicing that my bladder scan was good and the solution proposed was an easy one of long-term, low dose antibiotics. Then, I got the text that shattered my world and sent my heart into a tailspin. Ann Garner, the attendance secretary at the high school where I worked for so many years here in Virginia, passed away on Sunday morning. Ann was a dear friend as well as a co-worker. She and I used to go out to lunch together several times a month. After my stroke, she was gracious to include my husband Harry in our outings, since I couldn’t drive myself. We shared laughter, tears and a lot of happy times together. I spoke to her just before I went on the grad tour. She called me to tell me that a former student wanted my phone number and she wouldn’t give it to her without my permission. When I called her back, she sounded really weak, not like herself at all. So I asked her what was going on in her life these days. We hadn’t seen each other for over a year since I had health issues, she had health issues and we just couldn’t make our schedules work. But we stayed in contact, so I was devastated to hear her news that her cancer was not only back but she was on home hospice care. I asked if there was anything I could do and she just asked me to pray. So, my husband and I did. I knew then that the end was close, but I refused to accept that truth and kept praying for healing. After all, she had survived for twelve years with cancer. But the end came in spite of my prayers because God called Ann home to be with him. A widow since 2006, she is reunited with her beloved Clarence now, so I know that her cup is filled with joy. I, on the other hand, feel distraught and a deep grief, a sense of longing for our times together that won’t happen again.
The second blow came as I was online trying to find the information about Ann’s services. I finally found it on Facebook, of all places, and in scrolling, I discovered that a second colleague, Coach Joe Harper had passed away yesterday. Joe was a wonderful man and a good friend who encouraged everyone to enjoy life while we had it. After my stroke, he used to come by my room almost daily just to check in with me and ask how I was doing. I should note here that he taught all the way on the other end of a very large building, but he made the trek to the language hallway because he cared about others, including me. He used to greet us in the office at the mailboxes each morning with the same big smile and the words, “Another day in Paradise!” I truly believe that this kind and loving man who was unselfish to his core is also in the presence of the Father.
After these two deaths had time to settle in my conscious, I cried quietly, then I sobbed. Then, I went to bed early, long before my regular time. In fact, I was asleep before 6:30 last night, praying for peace and comfort for all of the friends and family and that God would give me peace and allow me to rest. He did, and I did. I awakened a couple of times as usual, made my bathroom stop and fell back to sleep. Today, I am feeling a little numb and like I have entered a world that is not well known to me. The death of two friends within days of each other invokes grief but also a wake-up call to my own mortality. None of is promised tomorrow, but if we know the Lord, we are promised eternity.
So, to answer the questions in the devotional: God is not responsible for the loss. Sin came into the world and death follows sin. God’s purpose is not always known, but He is always working out His plan, in others and in me. May the deaths of these loved ones point others to Christ. I know this must be part of His plan.
I am not really feeling joy this morning, but I am feeling a peace and a comfort that can only come from God. Whoever you are missing today, I hope that as you read these words, you will know that God is close beside you and longs to comfort you with His loving presence.
I am creating this post early since tomorrow my husband and I are traveling to a nearby town to celebrate our 52nd wedding anniversary. But I couldn’t let the day go by without wishing everyone in my little blogosphere a Happy Easter!
Easter is my favorite holiday. Most people say that Christmas is their favorite, and I think that used to be my answer when I was younger. But now that I am counted with the elderly, I look forward to Easter and the joy and hope it brings.
Ambassador Mike Huckabee and his wife are in Israel now, serving our nation as he has done for most of his life. As you read this scripture, say a prayer for him and Janet to be safe and well there.
What does it mean for the Lord to be our shepherd? This video explains well and I hope it blesses your heart to know all the ways God is your shepherd.
I particularly enjoyed the part about God’s being there in the valleys. We seem to have a lot of challenges in this life, but God is right there, leading us and keeping us safe. I also liked the part about God’s preparing a table for us before our enemies, teaching us to rely on His protection. The Psalm is from the beginning of the video until about the four minute mark and the other seven plus minutes are a prayer based on the psalm. It was very relaxing and uplifting for me to start my day with this today.
Then I followed this scripture and prayer with this song from Phil Wickham. I hope you have a blessed day, knowing that God is with you always and you will be with Him for eternity.
This is one of the first songs that I learned as a new Christian over five decades ago. To this day, the song brings back wonderful memories of all of the people I met in the first little church I attended and then the small country church in South Carolina. I hope you enjoy this stroll down memory lane and that this song brings you the hope that is so evident in its verses.
Lyrics
God sent His son, they called Him Jesus He came to love, heal, and forgive. He lived and died to buy my pardon, An empty grave is there to prove my Savior lives.
Because He lives, I can face tomorrow. Because He lives, All fear is gone. Because I know He holds the future, And life is worth the living just because He lives.
How sweet to hold a newborn baby, And feel the pride and joy he gives. But greater still the calm assurance, This child can face uncertain days because He lives.
Because He lives, I can face tomorrow. Because He lives, All fear is gone. Because I know He holds the future, And life is worth the living just because He lives.
And then one day I’ll cross the river, I’ll fight life’s final war with pain. And then as death gives way to victory, I’ll see the lights of glory and I’ll know He lives.
Because He lives, I can face tomorrow. Because He lives, All fear is gone! Because I know He holds the future And life is worth the living just because He lives!
From the YouVersion Bible App, “A God Who Is Faithful”, Day 4
A History of Faithfulness
The audience for this psalm is clear: “the descendants of Abraham, his chosen ones, the children of Jacob” (v. 6). The people of God were to hear and heed these words.
The people of Israel seemed to have suffered from spiritual amnesia. So, beginning with Abraham, the psalmist recounted the faithfulness of God over the span of 40 verses. The God of Israel allowed no one to oppress them (vv. 14 – 15). The word of the Lord was fulfilled in the rise of Joseph (vv. 17 – 22). The Lord made his people fruitful, more numerous than their foes (v. 24). When they were enslaved, God sent Moses (v. 26).
While the psalm lists various names, God proves to be the main character. It was God who powerfully delivered them from Pharaoh (vv. 27 – 38). Though this psalm includes only highlights from Israel’s history, the point is clear: nothing God purposed has failed.
The psalmist began with Abraham. Yet, Jesus would assert plainly in the Gospel of John, “Before Abraham was born, I am” (Jn 8:58). The epicenter of God’s faithfulness not only preceded the father of Israel, all God’s promises eventually find their “Yes” in him (2Co 1:20). God remembers his covenant; God’s people remember his wonders (Ps 105:5 – 11).
Today’s Prayer:
Jesus, I don’t ever want to suffer from spiritual amnesia. Help me to always remember everything that you’ve done for me and all that you’ve promised to do. Amen.
My Thoughts
Constantly reminding ourselves of what God has done for us in the past helps us to have hope and faith in the present and the future. Psalm 105 is like a list of things God did for the Israelites, a reminder of His presence and His blessing. Reading the Bible helps me remember, too. I have notes to myself of prayers I have said at particular times with certain verses as parts of my prayer. And I note what I was praying for and recall the answer. I don’t do it often enough, but I also keep a journal of God’s promises made and kept.
I wish we didn’t have to use reminders, that it just came naturally to remember all that God has done for us. But I find that when I am in the pits of despair, I am whining so much that I forget what God has done and will do if I will just let go and listen. In real life, it’s sometimes hard to remember but the devotional today was all about remembering and telling others about what God has done so that they can have their faith built up, too.
The Most Important Thing (YouVersion Bible App, Daily Devotional)
When Jesus was asked in Matthew 22 what the most important command was, He didn’t hesitate to recite Deuteronomy 6:5: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.” (NIV)
The starting point for all of our lives is wrapped up in loving God. We were created to love God and have a relationship with Him. We love because He first loved us! Amid everything that you have to do in life, the most important thing is that you love God with everything that you are.
If we become successful in life but don’t love God, we’ve missed the most important thing. In Deuteronomy, God instructed the Israelites to constantly keep this command in their hearts and minds. They made physical reminders to help them remember to love God in everything they did. They taught this command to their children as the foundation of all other commands in Scripture.
Take some time to consider your life. Is loving God the primary motivation? Think about how good and merciful God has been in your life. Remember that God loves you more than you could ever imagine. The best motivation to love God is to constantly remember how much He loved us first.
My Thoughts
Like many people, I find it easy to love God when things in my life are going well. But when there is a deep valley I have to cross through or obstacles in the pathway to my goal or my plan, I have a tendency to look for solace elsewhere. I pick up a book, turn on the TV or even put a Christian station on to listen to. Anything to distract me from the fact that things are not going my way, so I want to pout a little bit.
You know, if God turned away from us each time we disappointed Him, I am absolutely sure that we would not see Him much in our lives. Instead, He is always gracious, always merciful, always waiting for us to do what He has called us to do instead of what we want to do. Our desires need to line up with His. One of my devotionals this morning included this quotation: “God is always faithful, even when we are being faithless.” You might also add that God is always loving even when we are not showing love to Him. God loves the unlovable, the faithless, the broken and the sinner. So, loving God with all of my heart, soul and strength doesn’t seem much to ask when He has given so much just to have a relationship with me.
From YouVersion Bible App, Devotional, “In a Boat in the Middle of a Lake”, Day 5
God wired us for home. And to a certain degree, our earthly homes are supposed to be miniature Edens. For many of us, home is where we first experience what it means to be loved. It’s where we discover the security of belonging. Homes don’t just define where we live, but in many ways, they define who we are. Which is why leaving home can be so hard. But even these homes we have to eventually leave.
So it’s no surprise that we all experience homesickness in different ways and in different seasons. Eventually we leave our home, but our longing for home, the one God made us for, never leaves us. We all live with that “memory.” We never outgrow homesickness.
We were not born in Eden but outside of it. And as beautiful as this life is, it’s not enough. It’s temporary. A prelude of sorts, of what is to come. It’s why the New Testament describes us as “exiles” and “foreigners” (1 Peter 2:11).
God has made us to hunger and thirst, long and wait, for a new home. A greater home. A restoration of what went wrong in the Garden of Delight. The road to this home is bumpy. It’s full of suffering and weakness and pain. But the weeping is meant to be like a welcome mat. Instead of feeling homesick for the place behind us, we begin to long for a home that is ahead of us.
You might be in a boat in the middle of a lake. But you are not alone. And that lake has another side. One Jesus has promised to get you to. “Let us go over to the other side,” Jesus said. There will be many storms. Some smaller. And maybe some bigger. But there is a shore. We’ll say it again: there is a shore.
The promise of safe arrival.
Rest.
Renewal.
Victory.
Home.
God’s presence. . . .
So let us press on in the storm. Let’s continue to trust the God who meets us in our storm.
Your chaos will cease. It will not last. You have a future. We have a future. And it’s a future filled with God’s goodness and love and beauty. It’s a future filled with God himself
My Thoughts
I am not sure anyone can understand the life of a military wife except another military wife. In a little more than thirty years, we moved twenty-five times. We would stay at a base for two-three years and then move on to the next one, as my husband pursued his career and a higher rank. I hated that lifestyle but I really loved the people that I encountered and the lessons that I learned from all of that change that I was forced to make, not to mention the independence that I had to learn since I was alone a lot of the time. You see, we didn’t just move. Each time we moved, each new place generally required a new school for my husband to attend while I stayed in the new location and took care of the children. When Harry was in the navy, it meant months (almost a year sometimes) of being alone in a new place. And one year, there was a remote tour to Iceland for a year while the children and I stayed in South Carolina. Lots of adventures, but no real home!
I remember telling my husband in Arkansas that I just wanted a stable home, a place that I could build memories for me and the kids. Alas! That never really happened! We did eventually purchase a home in Pennsylvania when Harry was getting ready to retire, but I couldn’t find a teaching job there, so once again, we moved, this time for me. Suffice it to say that I have been a little perplexed about what God’s plan for me has been. Until I met and married Harry, I had lived in one town all of my life and one home for most of my life. Now, suddenly, I felt uprooted, a stranger in a strange land…over and over again.
Today’s devotional pointed me in the right direction and reminded me that all of this time I have been moving around, Jesus was right there with me. He is still working to bring me safely to shore and to my “forever home.” We have a home now that Harry and I live in alone since our children are grown and have their own families. It does my heart good to know that they are settled into homes of their own and have been there, in the same place, for over a decade now. That is what I wanted so badly for them and for me when they were growing up. But Jesus was gracious to keep me through all of those moves and to grant the desire of my heart for my children to have what I considered a “real home.”
I am grateful for each new experience that the Lord has allowed me to have and for His mercy that He has shed on me, even as I whined and complained about more boxes and another new place. I had the opportunity to go to places I would never have chosen to see, much less live there. I have seen how people lived in the cotton fields in Arkansas and in the bitter winters of northern Maine. I have made friends in eleven different states and met people from churches who welcomed me wholeheartedly, even though they knew I would only be there a short while before the military would move us. I learned acceptance, resilience and how to adapt even when I was a reluctant learner.
I like the word picture of “safe to shore” No matter what life’s circumstances, there is a shore we are headed for, and all of the trials of today will be worth it. We just have to hold onto that hope that He placed in our hearts on the day of our salvation.
From the YouVersion Bible App Devotional, “In a Boat in the Middle of a Lake”, Day 4
Trust is not giving up; trust is opening up. Opening our hearts to the possibility that maybe God really does know best. Maybe his wisdom and care and love are what we need most. And so, reluctantly at first, we open our hearts to trust in the middle of what we don’t always like or understand. But we open our hearts to a Father who knows best and has our best interests in mind, even if we can’t fully comprehend it. . . .
The struggle to trust and obey is real. But it’s also a necessary step toward growth and transformation.
Learning to trust God with what we don’t know is essential for being filled with God. If we are to increasingly experience the good life of following Jesus, we have to learn to trust like he did, often with what we can’t see or get our minds around.
This is one of the hardest parts of growing and being transformed in trials. Learning to surrender to what Jesus wants—his purposes, his plans, and his wisdom.
The Bible talks a lot about obedience. But the obedience God is after is not just an external conformity to what he says. It’s an inward alignment of our heart with his, even when we don’t understand what he is doing or why he is doing it.
Trust requires humility.
Trust requires saying, “I don’t understand, God, but you do.”
Trust requires admitting our powerlessness.
Trust requires giving up control.
When Jesus took the disciples out on the water and they found themselves surrounded by the storm, they realized they weren’t in control. They were helpless. They lacked the resources, the power, the wisdom to fix the situation. They were discovering what we all soon discover, that belief is not just faith in something, belief is faith in Someone. God is at the center. We follow him. He doesn’t follow us.
Their first response was fear. They had obeyed him before. But out on the water, in the world of the unknown, they were learning to trust him.
If we don’t trust God, inevitably, we will try to be God. And we’ll try to control what only he can control. What God is really interested in is our trust.
My Thoughts
It is a really big thing for me that “trust” is the theme for today since that is my word for this year. The definitions of trust here spoke to my heart and soul and let me know that I am not there yet. I am still at times reaching to control things, to change circumstances, instead of letting God do things for me. The part in the devotional that says we align with God and follow Him instead of His following us pierced me. I realized that I frequently want God to get in step with my plans instead of seeking what His plans are and following them. I think in our humanity, we all want to be in control and have difficulty relinquishing it to God. I don’t want to try to be God; I want Him to be the center of my life, in the pilot’s seat of my airplane so He can take me where He want me to go. That’s a hard thing for me because I don’t like unknown things. I plan routes in advance so I know exactly what lane I need to be in for the next turn. God is telling me clearly to let go and let Him make the plans. Because I can trust Him with all the details of all the unknowns.
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