Tag: compassionate

My Words

On By vickleaIn Scripture3 Comments

This morning in my devotional, God was dealing with me about my words, particularly the words I use with my spouse. I am very careful to choose my words with people whom I don’t know well or those I want to make a good impression on. But with my husband, I just say what I think and I am not always kind.

For example, when we went to the beach, Harry brought along a huge fishing cooler. Of course, he had put it into the back of the SUV and I didn’t even see it until we arrived. I was actually shocked to see it there and asked him why he would bring it, full of his clothes like a weird suitcase. He said he brought it to take to the beach with us. Well, I exploded, mostly from embarrassment at the laughable idea of him dragging that across the beach with us. Nevertheless, he took his clothes out of it and packed it daily with his towels and other things he wanted to take along to the shore. That thing is heavy even empty, so he only carried it a short ways and then truly had to drag it across the sand. I was berating and not at all kind as I followed him to the place where our daughter and her family had set up chairs and an umbrella. Then, he pointed out that he as dragging it in front of me and making a smooth path for me to walk across the sand so I would not fall. How foolish I felt about all of my unkind words! I had chosen to speak without thinking and to express my honest frustration instead of noticing his commitment to safeguarding me.

We didn’t really argue about the whole cooler thing, but I was not happy and I am sure that everyone knew it because I don’t hide my feelings well. If only I had seen Harry’s genuine acts of kindness and shared kind and appreciative words with him! They would have cheered both of us up!

I don’t mean to have a “deceitful tongue” but sometimes I confess that I do not tell the entire truth. I make excuses that I am doing it for the benefit of the other person because I don’t want to offend them. What I am really doing is saving face for myself. God wants me to be completely honest if I am going to say anything to others. Or, the other choice is to just be quiet! I don’t want to go around being deceitful, then the other person finds out what I was really thinking (or others tell them the whole truth), and they are crushed because I wasn’t honest to begin with. God is honest with me. He tells me when and how I need to change. He doesn’t mince words or tiptoe around so He doesn’t offend me because He has my best interests at heart. If that is my real motive, can I do any less towards others?

Words matter. They show the condition of my heart and places that are raw inside me and need to be healed and changed. Sometimes, they show what I am really feeling and sometimes they show a parody of what I feel because I don’t want to be offensive. I end up offending anyway more often than not, so my plan to not do so doesn’t usually work out for me. Kind words…gentle words…think before I speak and speak as the Spirit leads. My lesson for today, and I hope that it helps you, too.

A Word about Words

On By vickleaIn Quotation and Citations, Scripture9 Comments

Communication consists of putting words together into thoughts and then speaking them to others. Over and over again, we are warning in the Bible to be careful what we say with our mouths because we are either speaking death or life. I try to be aware of what I am saying and to whom I am saying it, but oftentimes, my emotions get ahead of my tongue and it just follows along that path of spewing what I’m feeling instead of thinking before I speak.

I don’t mean to or want to crush another person’s spirit, but I have seen it happen. I watch the person’s face change from happy delight to see me to overwhelming disappointment that they did. I must say that once I notice, I apologize, but wouldn’t it have been better to think first? I’m getting better at this skill, but I have not perfected it yet.

Maybe one of the reasons people walk around just looking down or with such sour faces is because of all of the ungracious words that have been spoken into their lives all day. I was very aware of what I said to my students when I was teaching because I wanted to point out that what they had done was a poor choice but that did not make them a bad person. In today’s world, we think nothing of going online and attacking someone’s character, whether we know them personally or not or whether they truly deserve the attack or not. Since I have not reached a state of perfection yet and God has not made me a judge over anyone except myself, it is much better for me to pray for a person who is in error than for me to take on the duty of pointing out how wrong they are about something, attacking their character because it doesn’t suit me. No one is served when the attack of words begins. The person you attack begins to avoid you and you lose a possible friend and you lose the witness to the Lord that you are supposed to be at all times.

I have seen this on line, many years ago and reminded my students of it when they were talking to each other. High school students especially seem to think that they become a bigger person if they can tear another person down. What I told them is that cutting people up with your words is not building yourself up but rather tearing yourself down in the eyes of others who watch what you do and say and lose trust in you. We would do well to follow this acronym when posting online.

I always enjoyed Audrey Hepburn movies and I had no idea that she had such wisdom as this quotation demonstrates. She was considered a beautiful and poised woman. Perhaps this motto was a real part of her life and that is why she was so lovely.

Anyone can make one of these graphics by using a site called Wordle. I happened to find this one online and each time I looked at it, a different word stood out. What strikes you as an outstanding word here? Words mean something, on paper and out loud. We have to remember that. We can take back words and apologize for them, but we cannot heal broken or damaged hearts. That takes a loving God and a person ready to forgive.

May each of us be more aware this day of the effects of our words on others and speak words of life and love into the needy world. Have a blessed day!