God must really be trying to get this verse into my heart because it was in my devotional and again in the Bible study that I am doing (“In the Middle of the Mess” with Shelia Walsh on StudyGateway.com) and again in a song I listened to as I did my devotional. I must confess that although I love the premise of the verse, when God points it out to me so repeatedly, I start getting anxious about what is going to happen that I need the evidence of God’s love. I guess that is just the real me coming out, and I need to have more faith and lesss fear.
This is how the passage continues, i.e. nothing can separate us from God’s love. When I doubt, He still loves me. When I rage (as I did when my best friend died), He is still with me. When I am feeling weak in my faith, He is still with me. I love God and trust that no matter how I feel, He is with me and loves me. When I was a little girl, my mom used to tell me all the time how ugly I was. In fact, she told me that I needed to go to college and have a good career because no one would ever marry me since I was so ugly. Alone in the bathroom, I would cry and sing the song that I remembered from visits to Sunday school with a neighbor, “Jesus Loves Me.” I did not know about Jesus’s free gift of salvation, but even as a young child, I knew deep in my heart that Jesus loves me. By the way, now that I am an adult and married for forty-five years, I look in the mirror and see a reflection of my mother. So maybe it was herself that she didn’t like. I’m not a psychologist and my mom died over thirty years ago, but I do know that I do look just like she did before she died. I’m really happy to say that God has come through for me and shown me His love and acceptance, healing a lot of wounds from my childhood. I didn’t know this verse when I was all alone and singing my song, but God knew my heart and my need for love and sent the Lord to be with me and comfort me.
Sometimes bad things happen, even in the lives of Christians. My beloved father became a drug addict and he also sold drugs. I still loved him but after his first arrest, I didn’t trust him. Can you imagine having the man who held you and told you that “everything will be okay” changing so much that it was hard to even see him? But I promised my Aunt Loree (his sister) when she was dying that I would keep in touch with daddy and talk to Him about the Lord. So, I did. When daddy was out of prison and I could contact him more easily, we talked every week, sometimes twice a week. I did my best to tell him about Jesus and His love for him. My brother had been separated from daddy for about twenty years, and I told him that he needed to forgive daddy and move on because the bitterness in his heart was not hurting daddy but it was hurting him. So, he did talk to daddy, visited him and began to love him again. In fact, he was the one with daddy when he took his last breath. And guess what? James was talking to daddy about death and Heaven and daddy professed his belief. So, in the end, He had victory over the drugs and over death. Praise be to God that I will see daddy again in Heaven! I never thought that was possible, but Aunt Loree knew that the seeds had been planted when he was a young boy. I watered a little weekly and James got to see the fruit at daddy’s bedside when he was dying. God is faithful and always loves us. Don’t you want that kind of never-ending love in your life? It is an awesome feeling to know that the God who created the whole Universe loves ME! And He loves YOU, too! Just accept His forgiveness and love and know that He is always with you.