When I was in high school, I was very shy, so I didn’t participate in many extra-curricular activities. Whatever I did, I made sure that I did it with my group of close friends. However, I really desired to be in the National Honor Society, so when I was not inducted my junior year, I asked my friend Sharon what was wrong with me. Why didn’t I get accepted? She advised me that I needed to participate more. So my senior year, I threw myself into extracurricular activities, including the yearbook and the Spanish Club and the school newspaper and literary magazine. I was even elected as the president of the Spanish Club, much to my surprise. The end result was that in the Spring of my senior year, I was inducted into the coveted NHS. Then, I went to college, taking my shyness and lack of desire to participate with me. Nevertheless, my friend Sharon was at my college and after spending my sophomore year in the Spanish House (for Spanish majors at my college), during my junior year, I applied for and was accepted to be a junior counselor in a freshman dorm. That was fun, but it wasn’t what I really wanted to be doing. Then, my senior year at Mary Washington, I was elected to be president of the Spanish House. I was subsequently chosen to be a member of the prestigious Phi Beta Kappa honor society. Shortly before graduation, I married my husband and added the title of Mrs. to my name. That has meant a lot to me for the last forty-six years because it is a title that I never expected to have and didn’t really aspire to. Added to that was the title of “mama” to three wonderful children.

But what I had prepared diligently for was to be a Spanish teacher and I did that task and many others in eleven different schools, even becoming the department chair here in Virginia before retiring. However, one award evaded me…I really wanted to be selected to be Teacher of the Year. I just did my job to the best of my ability because that is the only way that I know how to do things. I came in early and worked with students. I stayed late to help students. I volunteered for various committees. And yet after about a dozen years in the school system and numerous nominations for the coveted title, I was never selected. I remember talking with my dear friend and colleague at lunch one day and we came to the conclusion that since the main departments were larger and it was all a popularity contest, we would never be selected, regardless of how much work or how many hours we put in. Plus there was the whole standardized testing thing for the core subjects and the core teachers were basically taking turns garnering that award annually. English would win, then math, then history, then science, and then they would rotate again. But those of us who were the supplementary subjects did not receive recognition for our efforts. When I pointed that out to a superintendent one year during a meeting with him (I was also president of the local education association, so I attended the school board meetings and met with the superintendent as needed for myself or my members), the next thing I knew, a new award was conceived called “Apple of the Eye.” I did receive that crystal apple award one year, but it didn’t satisfy my desire for the Teacher of the Year Award. Nevertheless, I retired disappointed, without ever winning that award. When I awakened this morning, this whole scenario that I have described above ran through my mind. So, as I was talking to God and releasing the bitterness that comes with unfulfilled desires, God spoke to my heart about my real reward and my real title.

I am called to be a servant, not to be a distinguished member of the faculty or a president of anything. There is no competition in Heaven, or on earth for those of us who are His children. The only person we compete with is ourselves, to be better each day. Our reward is to appear before the Father and to be told that we did a good job. That has become more important to me than all of the accolades that I could possibly ever receive here. My pride at my accomplishments is lying at the feet of Jesus, the One who has made me able to do and to be all that He wants me to me. I am not boasting of what I have done. No, I am saying that none of the above things means anything in the face of eternity with God. Do I think that God is going to care about my golden Phi Beta Kappa pin? Of course not! It is what I do for Him that really matters. Do I tell others about Him and His love? Do I serve when called on to do so? Do I meet the needs of others when I can? My titles and awards will one day be left behind.

I am trying to live my life in such a way that others will see Christ in me and want a like relationship with our Savior. Isn’t that what really counts? We can’t take all of our awards and titles with us when we die. It all ends. Only what is done for Christ will stand forever.

What I want to hear now more than anything is approval from Christ.

Isn’t that what each of us craves? We need to move through each day knowing that God is using us as His instrument in this world, if we will just listen and obey.

You Can Have Me by the Sidewalk Prophets