Waves of Doubt

I have been faced with a lot of doubts during my long life. This failure to believe in others started when I was very young and watched people around me fail time and time again. My grandfather was an alcoholic, my father ended up being a drug addict after years of being idolized by me and my mom, well, my mom just didn’t know how to love herself or others. So, I doubted that others could or would help me through the storms of life; thus, I was determined to succeed on my own. That is, until one day I was introduced to Jesus and He has made all of the difference in my life.

I am not even trying to compare myself to Peter when he got out of the boat and walked on the water. Rather, I am saying that we all get afraid sometimes and take our eyes off of the Lord. That’s when we start to sink because the doubts overwhelm us. I was sinking in a sea of doubts when Jesus came to me the first time, held out His nail-scarred hand to me and convinced me that He would always love me and be there for me. Did He appear to me physically, like a vision? No, He appeared in His Word and made Himself known to me, in all of His power, glory and humility. I trusted His love and still do.

I will freely confess that sometimes circumstances overtake me and I take my eyes off of Jesus and put them on the problem, focusing on the issues instead of on the problem solver. Then, I read this verse again and it strengthens me. Notice that the verse says “immediately.” Jesus didn’t let Peter flounder around in the water for too long. He IMMEDIATELY reached out His hand to Him and held him. That’s what Jesus does to me over and over again when I start to flounder in the sea of doubt in which I used to be accustomed to dwell. He immediately reaches out to me as soon as I call on His Name and holds me securely in His loving arms, letting me know that the times may be tough, but He is there for me through it all.

Why do I doubt to begin with? I just don’t know the answer to that question. I think it has a lot to do with a lack of trust. I have to go back to the basics of my relationship with the Lord, know without any hesitation that He is totally trustworthy and call on Him to rescue me…again! The wonderful thing is that He has never failed me when I call on Him. He is always right there, close by, reaching out to assure me that He will take care of me. His Word is hidden in my heart and I find the comfort I need through the many verses He brings to my mind just when I need them.

Have a blessed day and remember that it’s okay to doubt and reach out to the Lord. Just don’t linger there lest you drown in that sea. God loves you and will always reach out to lift you up, again and again and again!

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