My Shield

Lately, I have been going on a “Doc Tour” (a phrase coined by my brother). That means that every week I have been to see at least one physician or to the hospital for a medical test as they ponder why I have been getting lightheaded and dizzy and sometimes even passing out. I must admit that this tour has been somewhat exhausting and discouraging, but God has been with me through it all.

My enemies are not the inhabitants of surrounding lands. Rather, it seems that my own body is in rebellion against me, but God is taking care of things for me, keeping me safe and secure in His loving arms.

I know that the victory is ultimately God’s and no matter what happens to me in this life, He has always held me close to Him and helped me to stay upright with His right hand…the Lord Jesus.

I remember being with young grandchildren and playing the classic game of “Hide and Seek.” It never failed to amuse me when the youngest would come to me and hide behind me, telling me I was their hiding place and I wouldn’t let their big brother or sister “get them.” God taught me through that simple game that He is and always has been my hiding place, the one place that I can count on for total safety and security when I am feeling anxious. Not only that, but He sings His songs of victory over me, giving me a feeling of calm that can only come from His presence.

It’s difficult to be thankful for these circumstances, but I am. I am thankful that God is teaching me to be more dependent on Him and to appreciate each new day as it comes. In the midst of all that has been going on in my life, a sweet friend online received a devastating diagnosis. Less than a month ago, Susan got pneumonia and was having real problems breathing. In the hospital, they did all kinds of tests and discovered that her breast cancer that had been in remission had spread to her lungs and other vital organs. Last week, when she was once again in the hospital, the doctors sent her home with hospice care and gave her less than two weeks to live. My faith cried out to God for more time for her to be with her beloved husband and daughter. However, on Tuesday evening, Susan went to be with the Lord. The odd thing is that I did not question or ask “why” as I am wont to do. Instead, I praised God that Susan is no longer suffering but is in the arms of our Lord and Savior. I prayed for comfort for her family as they grieve and for strength for them to get through these hard days. Susan knew the Lord and depended on Him to take her home when the time is right. That has been a lesson that I have needed to learn and that God is still teaching me. I am thankful that I am teachable and that He has patience with me, even as He shields me, protects me, delivers me and hides me. The doctors may never come up with an answer to this mystifying problem, but God already knows the number of my days and has them in His hand. Thus I don’t need to fret over the things that I cannot control; instead I choose to focus on God’s goodness, grace, mercy and love.

“Through It All”-Andrae Crouch

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