Faith and Doubt

Jesus says everything is possible to the one who believes. But how do you believe in a situation that poses a challenge to you?

This has been me for several weeks now. I started with pain in my foot after our trip to Maryland. I went to the ER, they said it was probably sprained and put me in an orthopedic shoe, telling me to make an appointment with a specialist to check for a hairline fracture. I had that appointment on the 16th and my left foot does have a hairline fracture, and I have a new orthopedic boot to wear.

Then, shortly after the ER visit, my allergy symptoms got worse and I thought I had a sinus infection, so I scheduled a visit at the office of my PCP. I didn’t get to see my regular doctor because he wasn’t in that day, and the lady I saw gave me steroids for my persistent cough and said I had Flu A, so I needed fluids and rest. I explained that I always get sicker without help from antibiotics because my immune system doesn’t work well. Nevertheless, I went home with the medral and got increasingly worse. I have been doing breathing treatments for almost two weeks now, interspersed with my rescue inhaler. I have never had to use my nebulizer to much in one time frame before, so this is a little scary for me. I see my pulmonologist tomorrow, for which I am very thankful since after two weeks of coughing incessantly , my abdomen and my ribs hurt. Not trying to whine, just telling you what has been happening in my world.

I got up Saturday and had trouble moving my right leg and bending at all. I think it is a side effect of wearing the very heavy boot on my left foot, so I called my orthopedic specialist this morning and left a message about what to do about this latest problem.

I’m feeling a little discouraged and with not a lot of faith left in my bucket. I have prayed, oh, how I have prayed. I prayed for my foot not to be broken. Well, it is. I prayed for my cough to get better, but it didn’t. So, with what little faith I have in my bucket, I am praying that God will work in this situation as only God can do and that He will help my doubt to spring forth with seeds of faith. It’s not that I don’t believe He can. I do! What I am not sure of is what His answer will be and I am holding on tightly, waiting to breathe better and to walk without excruciating pain. In the meantime, I am grateful for specialists, thankful for my husband who takes me to all of these doctors and especially thankful that I have my faith in God that comforts me even when I am feeling “undone.” I don’t understand why all of this is happening, but I know that God does and He is right there next to me, comforting me with words from the Holy Bible and with His Spirit to keep me calm and focused.

I would appreciate your prayers, not for healing, although that would be good, too. I need prayers for a bigger faith and less doubt. I have found that faith is easy to find on the mountaintop, but in the valley, it is not readily apparent, although I know it is still there.

Meanwhile, I will praise and exalt the God who created me, who knows all things and who loves me in spite of my doubts in my trials.

10 thoughts on “Faith and Doubt

  1. Faith holds us through difficult times. God provides faith without limit, faith in the truth of goodness and the goodness of divine truth. I am thankful to you for praising and exalting God and thank you for asking me to keep doing so too. I see it as divine truth operating in our consciousness right now even if we don’t yet feel it physically.

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