I am a Christian, a retired teacher, a mother and a grandmother. I love to read and I love the Lord Jesus Christ! Unless otherwise specified ,all visual illustrations are from the YOU VERSION APP of the Bible.
Just when I thought that Mary Burton couldn’t get any better with her suspense thrillers, she proved me wrong by writing this book. It was a total thrill ride from the beginning to the satisfying conclusion! It includes a cast of characters that are a motley crew of suspects for current fires in the college town of Missoula, Montana. Joan Mason has left behind her job as a homicide detective in Philadelphia to return to Missoula when arsonist Elijah Weston is released from prison. Joan is determined to prove that Elijah is still setting fires and should not have been released. Joan also encounters her college sweetheart Gideon Bailey and her former roommate Ann. The interactions between the characters is absolutely electric! The entire book consumed me because the story was mesmerizing, with all kinds of twists and rabbit-hole leads. I enjoyed going along with Joan on her journey to discover the truth. My heart raced when more fires were set and more people were endangered or killed. I just wanted to find out who the fire bug was and why this seemed to be such a necessity for his/her life. Mary Burton is an absolute master of moving a story along quickly with action and descriptions that are as fiery as this book was. I highly recommend BURN YOU TWICE to anyone who loves suspense thrillers and who wants entertainment that will not disappoint or leave you hanging. I was actually sad to see the story end because I want more of Joan and the other inhabitants of the little town of Missoula, a town with a personality of its own. What a thrill ride you are getting on when you pick up this book! Disclaimer Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher via Netgalley. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255, “Guides Concerning the Use of Testimonials and Endorsements in Advertising.”
I would rate this book a strong PG-13 because of the content. There is violence with descriptions of victims of fires and some reference to pre-marital and extra-marital sexual encounters.
Excerpt (from the author’s website):
Prologue
Missoula, Montana May 13, 2010 1:00 a.m. Ten Years Ago
The college campus bar was packed with students celebrating the end of another school year. All eyes were on the small stage, now flashing with blue and white spotlights as a singer gripped the mike and hit the high notes on the song’s last chorus. Everyone was mesmerized, including Joan and Ann who were standing near the bar.
He had been watching the two women for weeks. He knew where they lived, where they hid the spare key to their house, their class schedules, and even what they ate for breakfast. He had been in their house several times, lain on their beds, inhaled the scent of their perfume from their clothes and dreamed about this night. Over the course of the last few weeks, the rhythm of their lives had become second nature to him.
Now as Joan and Ann seductively moved to the music’s beat, he removed a small vial from his jean pocket and moved closer to the bar. When the bartender turned to fill a drink order, he quickly squeezed several drops of a sedative into each woman’s drink. The drugs would not knock either woman out immediately, but the dosage was enough to coax each back across campus to the safety of their home.
As he melted back into the crowd and the song ended, Joan and Ann turned back to the bar and gulped from their beer mugs. Their bodies glistened with sweat and they were laughing. They were so confident and sure of their bright futures.
He had only five minutes to wait before Ann set her drink down. She yawned, said something to Joan, who shook her head as if she wanted to stay. He thought for a moment Ann might leave alone. Having only Ann at the house was not part of the plan. For it all to work, Joan needed to be in the house as well. Tension rippled through him as he thought about all his plans crumbling. Maybe he should have put more drops in their drinks.
And then minutes later, Ann spoke to Joan again and the two stepped out into the cool night air. He followed, careful to keep a safe distance. “I just need a minute,” Ann said as she walked toward the middle of the parking lot. “I’m dizzy.” “I’m a little tired myself,” Joan said yawning. “Would we be wimps if we called it a night?” Ann said. “No. We’ll both head home.” Joan’s words sounded a little slurred. Ann blinked and gently patted her own cheeks with her hands. “But you have been looking forward to hearing this band.” “I’ve heard enough,” Joan said. “And you look dead on your feet.”
They walked the three blocks to their small one-story house located at the edge of the campus. He followed, careful to remain in the shadows. Several times, they paused, drew in breaths as if to clear their heads, and then continued walking.
When they arrived home, Joan fished out the key from under the front doorstep mat and pushed it into the lock. “I didn’t think I was that drunk. But I feel like I’ve been kicked by a mule.” Ann leaned against the house. “We’re tired, is all. We’ve both been burning the candle for weeks.”
Joan opened the door and clicked on the light. Ann said something he could not hear, and they both giggled as they moved into the living room and plopped onto the couch by the bay window.
Anticipation burned in him as moved toward his truck parked across the street. He was anxious to get this party started but knew patience and the details mattered. He pushed back a surge of desire. “Focus,” he whispered. “Stick to the plan.”
Joan rose and moved toward the kitchen. She tripped, righted herself, and then opened the refrigerator door. While she stared, her body swayed as if standing up straight required too much concentration and effort. Finally, empty handed she closed the door and moved past Ann, who had now passed out on the couch.
She shut off the light in the living room and seconds later a beside light in her room clicked on. She all but fell down on the purple bed spread. She tugged off her shoes, tossed them on the floor and shut off the light.
He waited another ten minutes before reaching under a tarp covering the bed of his tuck. He grabbed the handles of two gallon sized plastic jugs stowed side by side. The containers were each filled with gasoline and the tops were sealed with fragments of a torn gym sock.
The night’s inky blackness offered him the cover he needed, as he moved with practiced efficiency. He had planned this night for weeks and pictured each and every detail down to the last moment. Crossing the small front yard, he ducked around the side of the house. He set the first unlit device under Joan’s window and then moving around the house place the second jug by the back door. There was a third gasoline styled bomb under the house’s crawl space and positioned under Joan’s bedroom.
As he reached for his lighter, he noticed that the backdoor was unlocked. “Sloppy, girls. Sloppy.”
The temptation to see Joan and Ann unconscious and helpless was too strong to resist, so he carefully pushed open the back door. The house was silent as he moved into the small living room toward Ann, who lay on her belly, her hand draped over the side of the couch. A part of him was sorry for her. Ann was sweet by nature and so pretty. “You should have listened to me.”
He moved more confidently across the room and carefully pushed open Joan’s bedroom door. She lay on her back, her body relaxed and boneless. Her breathing was deep and steady. He stood by her bed and gently brushed back her dark hair. She had a pretty face. A very nice body. But she was bossy. Loud. Had a real mouth on her. “This is all your fault. Ann will suffer because of you. You just don’t know when to stop pushing.”
As if something deep inside of her sensed the danger, she drew in a deep breath and rolled on her side toward him. He stood very still, watching and waiting for her eyes to open. Even as he feared discovery, a part of him wanted her to see him standing over her. He imagined her shock and then her fear. God, how he wanted to see her tremble.
“Joan,” he whispered. “Guess who?”
Dark urges burned inside him. It would be so easy now to strip her naked, shove inside of her and show her just how badly she had underestimated him. But that was not part of the plan. His fire would dish out the perfect punishment.
He rose, crossed the room and closed her bedroom door. He closed and locked the kitchen door behind him, carefully centered his device by the door and adjusted the torn sock deeper into the gasoline. He fished a lighter from his pocket and dragged his thumb over the spark wheel. A flame flickered. For just a moment, he stared at the pretty flame that danced and undulated as it whispered promises of destruction.
He lighted the gasoline-soaked cotton cloth, and it caught fire immediately. Practice had taught him that this was the critical time. There were only seconds before the flame reached the gasoline reservoir, so he had to move quickly to the second device, light it and hurry to his truck.
As he slid behind the wheel and started the engine, the first bomb exploded. Though it was tempting to stay and watch his fire roar to life, he pressed the accelerator and slowly drove down the street. The second explosion under Joan’s window pulled his gaze to the rearview mirror now illuminated with orange and yellow flames licking up the side of the house. The blaze on the backside of the house cast off dark billowing smoke that threaded up and through the flames.
God, it was beautiful. Pride swelled in him. He grew hard, sorry now he had not taken Joan.
As he turned the corner, the third bomb denoted, and more flames shot up as a fire engine’s siren blared in the distance. Help was on the way. Too bad it would not be in time.
For more information about the author, go to her website at MaryBurton.comPhoto was taken from this site.
Available tomorrow, but you can pre-order it now! Purchase Links:
Although this is book #9 in the Vera Stanhope series by Ann Cleeves, it is the first book that I have read by this author and can definitely be read as a standalone. Vera is a detective inspector who is headed home in a snow storm, gets turned around and lost in the blowing snow and ends up finding an abandoned car with a baby left alone in the back seat. Rescuing the baby from the elements, Vera heads to the closest house, an estate named Brockburn where her father was raised. The quest for Vera to find the baby’s parent turns into a murder investigation when the body of Lorna Falstone is found in the back yard of the estate. Creepy, full of atmosphere and fast-paced, this book was a magnetic draw for me since I love police procedurals and crime thrillers and this book was the best of both. Vera’s team is called in and Vera’s determination to solve the murder mystery leads to a deep dive into the secrets of the family and the local townspeople. There are rumors, infidelities, and drama galore in this highly entertaining British crime thriller. I really liked the character of Vera Stanhope who reminded me of a female Columbo from the American TV series, frumpy with unexpected insights and no filter on the mouth. This was very humorous at times, especially as Vera unraveled the mystery and got closer to the perpetrator as she waded through numerous suspects. The author did a terrific job of developing each character, including the multiple suspects, in such a way that they were memorable enough for me to keep track of them. Vera also reflects on her own childhood in this story, which was perfect for me since it was my first book about her. I totally enjoyed this book and will absolutely look for more of these in the future! Disclaimer Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a complimentary copy of this book from St. Martin’s Press via Netgalley. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255, “Guides Concerning the Use of Testimonials and Endorsements in Advertising.”
Dealing with murder and secretive family relationships, this book is definitely a PG-13 rating.
Information about this award-winning author can be found at www.anncleeves.com
A romance packed in with a lot of drama, this book was a fun, entertaining and fast-paced read. Mara Reed has moved to Starlight, escaping Seattle and her ex-husband with all of the bad memories that the divorce brought. Not least of the bad memories was Paul’s divorce attorney, the very gifted Parker Johnson, who absolutely destroyed Mara’s reputation and left her with little in the way of finances in order to support her small daughter Evie. Parker is in town to help his brother build businesses and meet a deadline. While there, he also helps his brother Josh in coaching a young soccer team which includes Evie. The romance is inevitable but how Mara and Parker get there is a magical mix of author insight and just plain good writing. The tale weaves around the two soon-to-be lovebirds, but it also includes Josh and his plight as a single father and little Evie who is so damaged her cruel father who basically ignored and disparaged her. I enjoyed the characterization the most in this story as well as the cute setting of a small town in which everyone knows everyone and also all about the relationships happening at any one moment. I especially enjoyed how Mara was willing to help Josh and build her own self-confidence after Paul’s unending attacks on it. Finally, I liked that Parker was willing to self-reflect about his part in Mara’s discouragement and lack of trust of males. All in all, this was a quick and excellent romance that I highly recommend. Disclaimer Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher via Netgalley. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255, “Guides Concerning the Use of Testimonials and Endorsements in Advertising.”
Because this book includes extra-marital sexual relationships, I would rate the book a definite PG-13.
Author bio: Michelle Major grew up in Ohio but dreamed of living in the mountains. Soon after graduating with a degree in Journalism, she pointed her car west and settled in Colorado. Her life and house are filled with one great husband, two beautiful kids, a few furry pets and several well-behaved reptiles. She’s grateful to have found her passion writing stories with happy endings. Michelle loves to hear from her readers at http://www.michellemajor.com.
This twisted, scary, gripping book fits into multiple genres. It is a thriller, psychological suspense and mystery all rolled into the pages of a book that grabbed me and wouldn’t let go. The story is a complicated one about a family that has suffered a tragedy and lost themselves in the midst of it. Molly Clarke’s daughter Annie was killed in a terrible accident, and Molly and Nicole both blame themselves. Molly’s husband becomes distant, her son ignores her and Nicole withdraws. One night, Molly leaves her son’s football game and goes for a drive. Like in all of the Snoopy novels, “it was a dark and stormy night.” It is unimaginable what happens to Molly! She runs out of gas and gets a ride with a truck driver and his daughter Alice. Then, she just disappears. There is a note left in a hotel that she booked and the note tells her family, “Don’t look for me.” Nicole is not satisfied with that and is determined to find her mom, thus endangering her own life since Molly was actually kidnapped by a seriously deranged man. The emotions that I felt as I read this creepy book were terror, hatred, hope, and awe. I think that these were the same emotions that the narrators, Molly and Nicole, were feeling as they traversed the journey to find each other again. Action packed and filled with family drama, this was a really original look at what happens when you decide to walk away from your old life and try to start a new one. The surprising twists kept me absorbed in the stories of Nicole and Molly as I gasped at each new turn in this strange roller coaster ride. Fans of psychological suspense, mystery and thrillers will really enjoy this book but will need to set aside time to read it in one setting because it will be hard to put down! Disclaimer Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher via Netgalley. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255, “Guides Concerning the Use of Testimonials and Endorsements in Advertising.”
Because I love mystery and suspense, this book was perfect for me. But it will not be for everyone because of its content. I would rate it a hard PG-13.
I gave this book five stars because it was highly entertaining, but it should be rated M for mature audiences because of the content. The language is not too bad, but the plot revolves around various sexual scandals. Many thanks to #WilliamMorrowBooks for inviting me to read and review this book.
As a big fan of Kate Young’s Southern Sass series, I was dancing with glee when I found out that she has a new cozy mystery series. This was just as good as I could have ever wished! With some really shady characters (providing a substantial suspect pool) and a strong female protagonist, this book appealed to all of my hot buttons as a cozy mystery fan. Lyla Moody is supposed to be a receptionist for her uncle’s PI firm, but when one of her friends is killed, she starts to dabble into investigating herself and gets into deep waters quickly. I think my favorite part of the book was the Jane Doe Book Club, a club of mystery book readers who end up trying to figure out real crimes. I really want to join that club! As expected, some of the characters were quirky and the ending was a total surprise for me. Since I enjoy being surprised in a mystery, that was a bonus point for the author and the way she wove the story line with plenty of clues as well as red herrings. I am looking forward to more Jane Doe mysteries from Ms. Young. I love everything that she has written because she does her craft so well! Fans of cozy mysteries will enjoy this book and look forward to more! Disclaimer Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a complimentary copy from the publisher via Netgalley. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255, “Guides Concerning the Use of Testimonials and Endorsements in Advertising.”
I would rate this book PG. Photo and bio information from author’s web site: Kate Young Books
“Backlash” is the second book in Rachel Dylan’s Capital Intrigue series, but it can definitely be read as a standalone. This is the story of Layla Karam, a dedicated CIA analyst who was chosen to go on a DEA op to Honduras. That is where her problems began because now one of her team members is dead and she is a definite target herself. Her ex-boyfriend Hunter McCoy is tasked with keeping her safe, but that is no small job since the cartel seems to constantly be one step ahead of them. Hunter and Layla have to work together to find out who is the traitor among them before she ends up just like her teammate. This is a fast-paced and intense drama with ingenious twists and an imaginative plot. Ms. Dylan uses the setting very effectively, taking our heroine all over the capital city in her quest to escape the villains. This is an absolutely fascinating story of faith and forgiveness, with these themes woven throughout the story. “Backlash” is superb romantic suspense that will appeal to fans of Lynette Eason, Lisa Harris and Dani Pettrey. I sincerely appreciate Bethany House Publishing and Netgalley for allowing me to read and review an ARC of this dynamic book. I was not required to write a positive review; the opinions expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255, “Guides Concerning the Use of Testimonials and Endorsements in Advertising.”
Clean romantic suspensePhoto and information from the author’s website at Rachel Dylan
Available for pre-order now. Releases on October 6th! Purchase Links:
What a sweet romance with the setting of Christmas in Colorado! When the Landers family decides to give up their Arizona home for Christmas in exchange for a home in ski country Breckinridge, they were a little concerned about what they would find there. Fortunately, they were pleasantly surprised with a huge and rustic home with all of the amenities, including a handsome caretaker. Emma Daley has attached herself to the Landers family since she and Gillian, their daughter, were little girls. Emma really has no family in the states now since her parents are in Africa on a missionary tour. So, without anyone to spend the holidays with, Emma, who is a young substitute teacher and a would-be musician, chooses to accompany the Landers to Colorado. She and the caretaker really enjoy spending time together, but she doesn’t know his secret. The road to discovering West’s secret and to finding out what she really wants in life is an important gift that Emma is given this Christmas during this special “Christmas Swap.” Fans of Melody Carlson will love the setting, the story and the characters of this charming new Christmas book. Disclaimer Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a complimentary copy of this book as part of the Revell Reads Blogger Program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255, “Guides Concerning the Use of Testimonials and Endorsements in Advertising.”
Clean Christian romance!Photo from the author’s website at Melody Carlson
Mary Ellen Taylor has written a book about the ties between generations, secrets, losses, resentment and regret. I assumed when I started reading this book that it would be a light and sweet romance with little conflict. I was so wrong! I was drawn quickly into the story because of the setting in the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains, where I was raised. I understood the struggles of young Sadie, trying to help her family to survive any way she can, especially with the secret family recipe of adding honeysuckle to the white lightning that is the family’s main source of income. Sadie is one of the narrators during the time period set in the 1940’s. Fast forward to the current day and the narrator is Libby, a young woman who is aching over the loss of her husband and their dream of having children. Libby is pursuing a new career in photography and it is that job that leads her to Elaine Grant, the owner of Woodmont, a fancy mansion that is perfect for having weddings on its grounds. Elaine introduces Libby to the groundskeeper and handyman Colton and therein lies the hint of romance. There were so many secrets in this book, and the author did a fabulous job of weaving the tale of the main characters and how all of their stories were connected. This is a generational story that was a very satisfying read, but I must say that I want to read more of the story. There was an ending, of course, and it did bring the story to a conclusion. But I think that there are more stories to be told in these secretive mountains. Fans of romance with the nuances of mystery will totally enjoy this book, just as I did. Disclaimer Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher via Netgalley. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255, “Guides Concerning the Use of Testimonials and Endorsements in Advertising.”
This is a mostly clean read that I would rate G.Photo is from the author’s website at maryellentaylor.com
Available TOMORROW but you can pre-order today! Purchase Links:
I really enjoyed this story and hope that you will buy it and love it, too! The author is from my home state of Virginia, so she holds a special place in my heart. She also writes romantic suspense/mystery books under the name of Mary Burton. Please check out her books! She is fantastically talented!
This was a WOW book from start to finish! I really looked forward to reading it because I had read THE ESCAPE ROOM and loved it. In her latest novel, Megan Goldin did an even better job of drawing me into the swirling waters of her plot and trapping me there. I loved every minute that I spent with Rachel, Hannah, Jenny and K. Rachel is a podcaster, in town to cover the rape trial of swimming champion Scott Blair. She is an investigative reporter who knows how to do her research and to track down witnesses. In the middle of her podcast that is a do or die for her career, she is contacted by a girl named Hannah who wants her to look into the death of her sister Jenny, a young teen who supposedly drowned twenty-five years ago. Rachel is interested in the rape trial, but she is totally absorbed by the tragic death of Jenny. I enjoyed the pacing of the plot, the different points of view and especially the transcripts of the podcasts. Everything was very realistically and sometimes graphically displayed. There were twists that were expected and then some that were total surprises, which made me rate the book even higher. If I could give it more than five stars, I definitely would! Fans of psychological drama and suspense will love this book! Disclaimer Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher via Netgalley. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255, “Guides Concerning the Use of Testimonials and Endorsements in Advertising.”
MEGAN GOLDIN worked as a correspondent for Reuters and other media outlets where she covered war, peace, international terrorism and financial meltdowns in the Middle East and Asia. She is now based in Melbourne, Australia where she raises three sons and is a foster mum to Labrador puppies learning to be guide dogs. The Escape Room was her debut novel.
It was Jenny’s death that killed my mother. Killed her as good as if she’d been shot in the chest with a twelve-gauge shotgun. The doctor said it was the cancer. But I saw the will to live drain out of her the moment the policeman knocked on our screen door.
“It’s Jenny, isn’t it?” Mom rasped, clutching the lapel of her faded dressing gown.
“Ma’am, I don’t know how to tell you other than to say it straight.” The policeman spoke in the low-pitched melancholic tone he’d used moments earlier when he’d pulled up and told me to wait in the patrol car as its siren lights painted our house streaks of red and blue.
Despite his request, I’d slipped out of the back seat and rushed to Mom’s side as she turned on the front porch light and stepped onto the stoop, dazed from being woken late at night. I hugged her withered waist as he told her what he had to say. Her body shuddered at each word.
His jaw was tight under strawberry blond stubble and his light eyes were watery by the time he was done. He was a young cop. Visibly inexperienced in dealing with tragedy. He ran his knuckles across the corners of his glistening eyes and swallowed hard.
“I’m s-s-sorry for your loss, ma’am,” he stammered when there was nothing left to say. The finality of those words would reverberate through the years that followed.
But at that moment, as the platitudes still hung in the air, we stood on the stoop, staring at each other, uncertain what to do as we contemplated the etiquette of death.
I tightened my small, girlish arms around Mom’s waist as she lurched blindly into the house. Overcome by grief. I moved along with her. My arms locked around her. My face pressed against her hollow stomach. I wouldn’t let go. I was certain that I was all that was holding her up.
She collapsed into the lumpy cushion of the armchair. Her face hidden in her clawed-up hands and her shoulders shaking from soundless sobs.
I limped to the kitchen and poured her a glass of lemonade. It was all I could think to do. In our family, lemonade was the Band-Aid to fix life’s troubles. Mom’s teeth chattered against the glass as she tilted it to her mouth. She took a sip and left the glass teetering on the worn upholstery of her armchair as she wrapped her arms around herself.
I grabbed the glass before it fell and stumbled toward the kitchen. Halfway there, I realized the policeman was still standing at the doorway. He was staring at the floor. I followed his gaze. A track of bloody footprints in the shape of my small feet was smeared across the linoleum floor.
He looked at me expectantly. It was time for me to go to the hospital like I’d agreed when I’d begged him to take me home first so that I could be with Mom when she found out about Jenny. I glared at him defiantly. I would not leave my mother alone that night. Not even to get medical treatment for the cuts on my feet. He was about to argue the point when a garbled message came through on his patrol car radio. He squatted down so that he was at the level of my eyes and told me that he’d arrange for a nurse to come to the house as soon as possible to attend to my injured feet. I watched through the mesh of the screen door as he sped away. The blare of his police siren echoed long after his car disappeared in the dark.
The nurse arrived the following morning. She wore hospital scrubs and carried an oversized medical bag. She apologized for the delay, telling me that the ER had been overwhelmed by an emergency the previous night and nobody could get away to attend to me. She sewed me up with black sutures and wrapped thick bandages around my feet. Before she left, she warned me not to walk, because the sutures would pop. She was right. They did.
Jenny was barely sixteen when she died. I was five weeks short of my tenth birthday. Old enough to know that my life would never be the same. Too young to understand why.
I never told my mother that I’d held Jenny’s cold body in my arms until police officers swarmed over her like buzzards and pulled me away. I never told her a single thing about that night. Even if I had, I doubt she would have heard. Her mind was in another place.
We buried my sister in a private funeral. The two of us and a local minister, and a couple of Mom’s old colleagues who came during their lunch break, wearing their supermarket cashier uniforms. At least they’re the ones that I remember. Maybe there were others. I can’t recall. I was so young.
The only part of the funeral that I remember clearly was Jenny’s simple coffin resting on a patch of grass alongside a freshly dug grave. I took off my hand-knitted sweater and laid it out on top of the polished casket. “Jenny will need it,” I told Mom. “It’ll be cold for her in the ground.”
We both knew how much Jenny hated the cold. On winter days when bitter drafts tore through gaps in the patched-up walls of our house, Jenny would beg Mom to move us to a place where summer never ended.
A few days after Jenny’s funeral, a stone-faced man from the police department arrived in a creased gabardine suit. He pulled a flip-top notebook from his jacket and asked me if I knew what had happened the night that Jenny died.
My eyes were downcast while I studied each errant thread in the soiled bandages wrapped around my feet. I sensed his relief when after going through the motions of asking more questions and getting no response he tucked his empty notebook into his jacket pocket and headed back to his car.
I hated myself for my stubborn silence as he drove away. Sometimes when the guilt overwhelms me, I remind myself that it was not my fault. He didn’t ask the right questions and I didn’t know how to explain things that I was too young to understand.
This year we mark a milestone. Twenty-five years since Jenny died. A quarter of a century and nothing has changed. Her death is as raw as it was the day we buried her. The only difference is that I won’t be silent anymore.
2
Rachel
A single streak of white cloud marred an otherwise perfect blue sky as Rachel Krall drove her silver SUV on a flat stretch of highway toward the Atlantic Ocean. Dead ahead on the horizon was a thin blue line. It widened as she drove closer until Rachel knew for certain that it was the sea.
Rachel glanced uneasily at the fluttering pages of the letter resting on the front passenger seat next to her as she zoomed along the right lane of the highway. She was deeply troubled by the letter. Not so much by the contents, but instead by the strange, almost sinister way the letter had been delivered earlier that morning.
After hours on the road, she’d pulled into a twenty-four-hour diner where she ordered a mug of coffee and pancakes that came covered with half-thawed blueberries and two scoops of vanilla ice cream, which she pushed to the side of her plate. The coffee was bitter, but she drank it anyway. She needed it for the caffeine, not the taste. When she finished her meal, she ordered an extra-strong iced coffee and a muffin to go in case her energy flagged on the final leg of the drive.
While waiting for her takeout order, Rachel applied eye drops to revive her tired green eyes and twisted up her shoulder-length auburn hair to get it out of her face. Rachel was tying her hair into a topknot when the waitress brought her order in a white paper bag before rushing off to serve a truck driver who was gesticulating angrily for his bill.
Rachel left a larger than necessary tip for the waitress, mostly because she felt bad at the way customers hounded the poor woman over the slow service. Not her fault, thought Rachel. She’d waitressed through college and knew how tough it was to be the only person serving tables during an unexpected rush.
By the time she pushed open the swinging doors of the restaurant, Rachel was feeling full and slightly queasy. It was bright outside and she had to shield her eyes from the sun as she headed to her car. Even before she reached it, she saw something shoved under her windshield wiper. Assuming it was an advertising flyer, Rachel abruptly pulled it off her windshield. She was about to crumple it up unread when she noticed her name had been neatly written in bold lettering: Rachel Krall (from the Guilty or Not Guilty podcast).
Rachel received thousands of emails and social media messages every week. Most were charming and friendly. Letters from fans. A few scared the hell out of her. Rachel had no idea which category the letter would fall into, but the mere fact that a stranger had recognized her and left a note addressed to her on her car made her decidedly uncomfortable.
Rachel looked around in case the person who’d left the letter was still there. Waiting. Watching her reaction. Truck drivers stood around smoking and shooting the breeze. Others checked the rigging of the loads on their trucks. Car doors slammed as motorists arrived. Engines rumbled to life as others left. Nobody paid Rachel any attention, although that did little to ease the eerie feeling she was being watched.
It was rare for Rachel to feel vulnerable. She’d been in plenty of hairy situations over the years. A month earlier, she’d spent the best part of an afternoon locked in a high-security prison cell talking to an uncuffed serial killer while police marksmen pointed automatic rifles through a hole in the ceiling in case the prisoner lunged at her during the interview. Rachel hadn’t so much as broken into a sweat the entire time. Rachel felt ridiculous that a letter left on her car had unnerved her more than a face-to-face meeting with a killer.
Deep down, Rachel knew the reason for her discomfort. She had been recognized. In public. By a stranger. That had never happened before. Rachel had worked hard to maintain her anonymity after being catapulted to fame when the first season of her podcast became a cultural sensation, spurring a wave of imitation podcasts and a national obsession with true crime.
In that first season, Rachel had uncovered fresh evidence that proved that a high school teacher had been wrongly convicted for the murder of his wife on their second honeymoon. Season 2 was even more successful when Rachel had solved a previously unsolvable cold case of a single mother of two who was bashed to death in her hair salon. By the time the season had ended, Rachel Krall had become a household name.
Despite her sudden fame, or rather because of it, she deliberately kept a low profile. Rachel’s name and broadcast voice were instantly recognizable, but people had no idea what she looked like or who she was when she went to the gym, or drank coffee at her favorite cafe, or pushed a shopping cart through her local supermarket.
The only public photos of Rachel were a series of black-and-white shots taken by her ex-husband during their short-lived marriage when she was at grad school. The photos barely resembled her anymore, maybe because of the camera angle, or the monochrome hues, or perhaps because her face had become more defined as she entered her thirties.
In the early days, before the podcast had taken off, they’d received their first media request for a photograph of Rachel to run alongside an article on the podcast’s then-cult following. It was her producer Pete’s idea to use those dated photographs. He had pointed out that reporting on true crime often attracted cranks and kooks, and even the occasional psychopath. Anonymity, they’d agreed, was Rachel’s protection. Ever since then she’d cultivated it obsessively, purposely avoiding public-speaking events and TV show appearances so that she wouldn’t be recognized in her private life.
That was why it was unfathomable to Rachel that a random stranger had recognized her well enough to leave her a personalized note at a remote highway rest area where she’d stopped on a whim. Glancing once more over her shoulder, she ripped open the envelope to read the letter inside:
Dear Rachel,
I hope you don’t mind me calling you by your first name. I feel that I know you so well.
She recoiled at the presumed intimacy of the letter. The last time she’d received fan mail in that sort of familiar tone, it was from a sexual sadist inviting her to pay a conjugal visit at his maximum-security prison.
Rachel climbed into the driver’s seat of her car and continued reading the note, which was written on paper torn from a spiral notebook.
I’m a huge fan, Rachel. I listened to every episode of your podcast. I truly believe that you are the only person who can help me. My sister Jenny was killed a long time ago. She was only sixteen. I’ve written to you twice to ask you to help me. I don’t know what I’ll do if you say no again.
Rachel turned to the last page. The letter was signed: Hannah. She had no recollection of getting Hannah’s letters, but that didn’t mean much. If letters had been sent, they would have gone to Pete or their intern, both of who vetted the flood of correspondence sent to the podcast email address. Occasionally Pete would forward a letter to Rachel to review personally.
In the early days of the podcast, Rachel had personally read all the requests for help that came from either family or friends frustrated at the lack of progress in their loved ones’ homicide investigations, or prisoners claiming innocence and begging Rachel to clear their names. She’d made a point of personally responding to each letter, usually after doing preliminary research, and often by including referrals to not-for-profit organizations that might help.
But as the requests grew exponentially, the emotional toll of desperate people begging Rachel for help overwhelmed her. She’d become the last hope of anyone who’d ever been let down by the justice system. Rachel discovered firsthand that there were a lot of them and they all wanted the same thing. They wanted Rachel to make their case the subject of the next season of her podcast, or at the very least, to use her considerable investigative skills to right their wrong.
Rachel hated that most of the time she could do nothing other than send empty words of consolation to desperate, broken people. The burden of their expectations became so crushing that Rachel almost abandoned the podcast. In the end, Pete took over reviewing all correspondence to protect Rachel and to give her time to research and report on her podcast stories.
The letter left on her windshield was the first to make it through Pete’s human firewall. This piqued Rachel’s interest, despite the nagging worry that made her double-lock her car door as she continued reading from behind the steering wheel.
It was Jenny’s death that killed my mother [the letter went on]. Killed her as good as if she’d been shot in the chest with a twelve-gauge shotgun.
Though it was late morning on a hot summer’s day and her car was heating up like an oven, Rachel felt a chill run through her.
I’ve spent my life running away from the memories. Hurting myself. And others. It took the trial in Neapolis to make me face up to my past. That is why I am writing to you, Rachel. Jenny’s killer will be there. In that town. Maybe in that courtroom. It’s time for justice to be done. You’re the only one who can help me deliver it.
The metallic crash of a minibus door being pushed open startled Rachel. She tossed the pages on the front passenger seat and hastily reversed out of the parking spot.
She was so engrossed in thinking about the letter and the mysterious way that it was delivered that she didn’t notice she had merged onto the highway and was speeding until she came out of her trancelike state and saw metal barricades whizzing past in a blur. She’d driven more than ten miles and couldn’t remember any of it. Rachel slowed down, and dialed Pete.
No answer. She put him on auto redial but gave up after the fourth attempt when he still hadn’t picked up. Ahead of her, the widening band of blue ocean on the horizon beckoned at the end of the long, flat stretch of highway. She was getting close to her destination.
Rachel looked into her rearview mirror and noticed a silver sedan on the road behind her. The license plate number looked familiar. Rachel could have sworn that she’d seen the same car before over the course of her long drive. She changed lanes. The sedan changed lanes and moved directly behind her. Rachel sped up. The car sped up. When she braked, the car did, too. Rachel dialed Pete again. Still no answer.
“Damn it, Pete.” She slammed her hands on the steering wheel.
The sedan pulled out and drove alongside her. Rachel turned her head to see the driver. The window was tinted and reflected the glare of the sun as the car sped ahead, weaving between lanes until it was lost in a sea of vehicles. Rachel slowed down as she entered traffic near a giant billboard on a grassy embankment that read: WELCOME TO NEAPOLIS. YOUR GATEWAY TO THE CRYSTAL COAST.
Neapolis was a three-hour drive north of Wilmington and well off the main interstate highway route. Rachel had never heard of the place until she’d chosen the upcoming trial there as the subject of the hotly anticipated third season of Guilty or Not Guilty.
She pulled to a stop at a red traffic light and turned on the car radio. It automatically tuned into a local station running a talkback slot in between playing old tracks of country music on a lazy Saturday morning. She surveyed the town through the glass of her dusty windshield. It had a charmless grit that she’d seen in a hundred other small towns she’d passed through over her thirty-two years. The same ubiquitous gas station signs. Fast-food stores with grimy windows. Tired shopping strips of run-down stores that had long ago lost the war with the malls.
“We have a caller on the line,” the radio host said, after the final notes of acoustic guitar had faded away. “What’s your name?”
“Dean.”
“What do you want to talk about today, Dean?”
“Everyone is so politically correct these days that nobody calls it as they see it. So I’m going to say it straight out. That trial next week is a disgrace.”
“Why do you say that?” asked the radio announcer.
“Because what the heck was that girl thinking!”
“You’re blaming the girl?”
“Hell yeah. It’s not right. A kid’s life is being ruined because a girl got drunk and did something dumb that she regretted afterward. We all regret stuff. Except we don’t try to get someone put in prison for our screw-ups.”
“The police and district attorney obviously think a crime has been committed if they’re bringing it to trial,” interrupted the host testily.
“Don’t get me wrong. I feel bad for her and all. Hell, I feel bad for everyone in this messed-up situation. But I especially feel bad for that Blair boy. Everything he worked for has gone up in smoke. And he ain’t even been found guilty yet. Fact is, this trial is a waste. It’s a waste of time. And it’s a waste of our taxes.”
“Jury selection might be over, but the trial hasn’t begun, Dean,” snapped the radio announcer. “There’s a jury of twelve fine citizens who will decide his guilt or innocence. It’s not up to us, or you, to decide.”
“Well, I sure hope that jury has their heads screwed on right, because there’s no way that anyone with a shred of good old-fashioned common sense will reach a guilty verdict. No way.”
The caller’s voice dropped out as the first notes of a hit country-western song hit the airwaves. The announcer’s voice rose over the music. “It’s just after eleven A.M. on what’s turning out to be a very humid Saturday morning in Neapolis. Everyone in town is talking about the Blair trial that starts next week. We’ll take more callers after this little tune.”