This morning in my devotional, God was dealing with me about my words, particularly the words I use with my spouse. I am very careful to choose my words with people whom I don’t know well or those I want to make a good impression on. But with my husband, I just say what I think and I am not always kind.

For example, when we went to the beach, Harry brought along a huge fishing cooler. Of course, he had put it into the back of the SUV and I didn’t even see it until we arrived. I was actually shocked to see it there and asked him why he would bring it, full of his clothes like a weird suitcase. He said he brought it to take to the beach with us. Well, I exploded, mostly from embarrassment at the laughable idea of him dragging that across the beach with us. Nevertheless, he took his clothes out of it and packed it daily with his towels and other things he wanted to take along to the shore. That thing is heavy even empty, so he only carried it a short ways and then truly had to drag it across the sand. I was berating and not at all kind as I followed him to the place where our daughter and her family had set up chairs and an umbrella. Then, he pointed out that he as dragging it in front of me and making a smooth path for me to walk across the sand so I would not fall. How foolish I felt about all of my unkind words! I had chosen to speak without thinking and to express my honest frustration instead of noticing his commitment to safeguarding me.

We didn’t really argue about the whole cooler thing, but I was not happy and I am sure that everyone knew it because I don’t hide my feelings well. If only I had seen Harry’s genuine acts of kindness and shared kind and appreciative words with him! They would have cheered both of us up!

I don’t mean to have a “deceitful tongue” but sometimes I confess that I do not tell the entire truth. I make excuses that I am doing it for the benefit of the other person because I don’t want to offend them. What I am really doing is saving face for myself. God wants me to be completely honest if I am going to say anything to others. Or, the other choice is to just be quiet! I don’t want to go around being deceitful, then the other person finds out what I was really thinking (or others tell them the whole truth), and they are crushed because I wasn’t honest to begin with. God is honest with me. He tells me when and how I need to change. He doesn’t mince words or tiptoe around so He doesn’t offend me because He has my best interests at heart. If that is my real motive, can I do any less towards others?

Words matter. They show the condition of my heart and places that are raw inside me and need to be healed and changed. Sometimes, they show what I am really feeling and sometimes they show a parody of what I feel because I don’t want to be offensive. I end up offending anyway more often than not, so my plan to not do so doesn’t usually work out for me. Kind words…gentle words…think before I speak and speak as the Spirit leads. My lesson for today, and I hope that it helps you, too.