Yesterday was a difficult day for me since I had to go to the cardiologist for a consultation about some problems I have been having. The day started early, with the cat demanding to be fed and then knocking over a bottle of open water, leaving me a mess to clean up before I could settle into the rest of my routine. My husband got up and got ready to take me to see the doctor and prayed for me before I went in. My problems may or may not be serious, but anything dealing with the heart and circulation is scary for me. I couldn’t help but think of my best friend Heidi who had vascular surgery, got an infection, had a leg amputated and ending up dying of sepsis only a few years later. Not thrilled about the idea of any kind of surgery, I went into the office with trepidation and told my husband that I would call him if I needed him to come in and be with me.
Of course, God was with me all along, calmed my fears and is still calming me today as I face four different tests that will determine what is going on. All I know is that I have passed out a couple of times, without warning, and I am losing feeling in my lower extremities. The doctor wants to eliminate a heart issue, so I have to wear a heart monitor for a month, have an ultrasound on my heart, another ultrasound on my legs and a nuclear stress test. I am waiting for the Bio company to send the heart monitor which is supposed to arrive by next week. Meanwhile, my anxiety kicked in and I needed this Scripture verse this morning.
God assured me that He is right beside me. He is delighting in me, in spite of my doubts and fears and He is calming me. He is rejoicing over me while I rejoice in His love and His presence with me. Yes, it is a trying time for me, but there are many going through much worse and I am thankful that the doctors are willing to do the tests that can give them the information that they need to go forward. My heart has worked well for me for over seventy years and I know that the One who determines my future is in total control of my present. That being said, I would appreciate prayers from any of you who agree with me about God’s sovereignty.