In the Hard Times

On By vickleaIn Uncategorized

I have to confess that today was a really rough one for me. I called my surgeon’s office first thing this morning, confident that I had finished all of the prescribed tests and that now I can go in for my pre-op consultation and get this dreaded surgery over and done. Not to be, unfortunately. It seems that the gastroenterologist overlooked the order from the surgeon to do a manometry test, one the surgeon insists on if he is to repair my hernia that is a whopping six cm in length. (I’m told this is very large, but I will have to take the expert’s word for it.). Anyway, I spent a great deal of the morning crying and ranting at the Lord over what I have already gone through and now I have to go though a tube down my nose and throat. Yuck! Add that to the fact that it postpones the surgery until they can schedule this test in the hospital, and you will understand, I hope, that I was beside myself with despair today. I am less than happy with my diet. I cannot have any meat except fish and I have always hated fish…always! So, my husband went out and brought back protein powder for my dinner tonight since I refused to eat fish yet again. I know…I’m having difficulty with a bad attitude. Then, I opened up my devotional for tonight and lo, what was my scripture verse?

And people think that God does not have a sense of humor? Ha! Not only does He have a sense of humor, but He also knows more about me than I could ever hope to understand or know, including why I gag at the very thought of putting one more bite of fish into my mouth. He knows what I am going through and He has promised me peace. So, that is what I am resting on, tonight and tomorrow when the hospital is supposed to call to schedule the new procedure and tomorrow night when once again I pick up a fork to eat fish. I have decided to have a new theme verse.

I want to stand every morning to praise and give thanks to God and end every evening in like manner. I was very disappointed in myself and my reaction today, but I confess that I had finally reached a breaking point of stress (and fish) and the fact that the GI messed up was just too much for me to fathom. I forgive him, though, and choose to move on…one step, one day and one prayer at a time. Thank you for your prayers and well-wishes. I don’t mean to make you all feel bad with my lack of faith today, but I had to be honest. After all, that is why I started the blog. Blessings.

16 thoughts on “In the Hard Times”

  2. Everything will get fine very soon through god dear Vicky. Love and prayers for you. You may try the following fish recipes which I got from Google: https://secretindianrecipe.com/recipe/healthy-fish-curry
    https://youtu.be/q1VssUbPpWk (use very little chilly powder)
    http://www.cheenachatti.com/recipe/kerala-style-fish-molly/ (u can avoid green chillies and use just a small piece of ginger).
    Hope these recipes gives ur tastebuds a difference without compromising your stomach. Prayers 😊❤

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  3. I do not see a lack of faith at all. I see a person who is weary and struggling. It’s ok to feel afraid, tired and sad. That is not a loss of faith. It is emotional responses to a difficult time. We as humans, were given these emotions to help us learn and grow. Allow them to be without judgment. You are very faithful. Be kind to yourself. Everything will be alright. Much love to you tonight.

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  4. I know you are tired and frustrated Vickie. And I also know that God will.continue giving you strength!

    Great verses!

    What type of fish have you eaten? Or is it just fish period that you don’t like…because baked salmon is awesome 🙂

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    1. I don’t like fish that tastes or smells like fish. Everyone keeps telling me that salmon is awesome, but it’s too fishy for me. The one that is least fishy is Swai. And I have to eat all of it baked or broiled because I’m not allowed fried foods. I got some Alfredo sauce because I got a recipe to try that with fish and my husband will make that for me tonight. I just have never liked fish and to have to eat it is a trial all by itself. I will persevere…but it’s hard! Thanks for prayers and encouraging words, Stu.

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  7. leeposkey's avatar Lee Poskey

    I will pray for you this mornin miss Vickie.

    You’re only human, not a robot.
    Don’t beat yourself up for being real.
    I would be feeling just like you if I were in your shoes.

    God loves you miss Vickie, and He already knows how all of this would play out before it happens. So your humanity isn’t a shock to Him.
    Relax in His love miss Vickie.

    And do me one favor will you please? (I’m telling you this because this is going to help you through this tough spot).

    Focus only on God having made His children the righteousness of God. Don’t get sidetracked into other doctrine until you really own this fact personally.
    🙂🙏

    I’ll go pray for you right now.

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  9. Your feelings are normal…what is abnormal to most is that instead of letting your feelings keep you in despair, you opened up Scripture and let the Lord speak to you! AMAZING FAITH! Good for you Vickie. God is with you…and He will see you through this…no matter what. I love the verses you shared.,.thank you for such an encouraging post!

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